GLDN – Hemophilia
GLDN – Hemophilia
Self-Released
Release Date: 07/10/22
Running Time: 37:43
Review by Dark Juan
8/10
You might remember the last time I wrote about GLDN. As you will no doubt recall, I was not overly impressed by the EP and might have said a rude thing or two about the chap behind it all, Nicholas Golden. As it turns out, Nicholas is an absolutely lovely gentleman and Dark Juan felt guilty (very briefly) about being nasty about his record, but then remembered that Dark Juan is SUPPOSED to be a critic and if something doesn’t meet with Dark Juan’s approval he’s supposed to bloody say so. Anyway, Head Honcho and Chief Overgrown Child Wrangler Beth “Let’s Give Dark Juan This And See What Happens- Tee Hee!” Jones assigned this remix record by GLDN to me. My views on remixes are well known and normally Dark Juan sees them as obnoxious cash-grabs by established bands who have enough money. Normally. However, what with COVID having recently passed and fucked the finances of everyone in the Western world, and demented ex-KGB Lieutenant-Colonels busy invading their neighbours, bands are going to get a pass for the next couple of years as normality reasserts itself because frankly the performing arts need every penny they can lay their grubby little paws on, especially musicians. This shit ain’t cheap.
So, “Hemophilia”. Will it be a cynical lot of nonsense or something that transcends the original recordings? Let us delve into the music of Nicholas Golden once again…
The album opens with a frankly stonking cover version of ‘Animal’, originally recorded by Dark Juan’s favourite Punk band, the Anti-Nowhere League. Effortlessly melding the spit-soaked sonic fury of Punk with the polished perfection of Industrial, this is a short sharp blast to start the record and immediately grabs my interest by the throat and gives me a good stiff shake, as if to say, “Think my last record was shit, do you? Fucking English fuckmuppet, I’ll fucking take you apart!” and proceeding to tear off Dark Juan’s face with the opening cut. Golden’s voice is a cracked avatar of fury on the song and the whole thing is frankly bloody marvellous.
The third track is also of interest as it is a cover version too, this time of Garbage’s ‘#1 Crush’. To hear it sung by a male voice makes it an interesting and odd juxtaposition with the original, which was ably handled by Scotland’s second most famous musical export after The Proclaimers. And I don’t mean Rod Stewart. Golden handles it expertly, although there’s a couple of wobbles in his voice here and there. The whole album is kind of analogous to Nine Inch Nails’ “Fixed” and “Broken” EPs, where the songs from “First Blood” are deconstructed, polished, have parts replaced and upgraded and reassembled in interesting new patterns. ‘Dirty, Rotten, Decayed’ reminds Dark Juan of a beguiling mix of Skinny Puppy, Front 242 and Cubanate with Techno beats fusing with Industrial rage and reminding me that primarily Electronic music can be as heavy as Metal when it needs to be. Some guitar that is specifically designed to remove the heads of ornery British amateur music journos with distinct attitude problems opens ‘Suicide Machine’ which confounds and confuses with a muscular metallic backbone overlaid with a splayed-out, almost sexual vocal that charms and disturbs in equal measure.
In fact, the vibe of the whole record is totally different to “First Blood”. It’s a much angrier, more visceral listen. Gone is the aping of Marilyn Manson and instead there is a tight, wound-up explosive fury in the vocals especially. Golden doesn’t sing as much as spit bile and the music has a febrile, barely contained quality that adds considerable spice to the recording. Where the original was insouciant, self-assured and swaggering, this album skulks and sneaks in the shadows and creeps up on you and slips a stiletto between your ribs. There’s more danger here. There’s more sustained threat and more darkness. If anything, the remixes are better than the original compositions as they exude more poison and irony and seduction.
The music still owes a fair debt to Nine Inch Nails and Filter, though, but it is much more original and forward thinking this time round and much more indicative of the personality (disorders?) of Nicholas Golden. Finally, the music matches the blood-soaked, dead-eyed images of Nicholas I got sent in the press pack and this, my friends, is a fucking terrific thing.
To conclude, then, this was the record that GLDN should have released back in July. This would have achieved the high score I was desperate to give “First Blood”. “Hemophilia” is a much more complete record, produced even more richly than the sumptuous sound of “First Blood” and all the better from having been remixed and messed with and bent into new shapes. It has a lot more violence, both actual and implied, a fuck ton more sexuality done better than what the self-proclaimed God Of Fuck can, more esoteric and expansive soundscapes, and now it can honestly say that this is the sound of GLDN. Or rather, I can say that this is what I wanted GLDN to sound like…
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System is profoundly relieved that GLDN have pulled their fingers out of their arses and released the record Dark Juan knew they were capable of and awards them 8/10 for a cracking little listen, it being that rare thing – a remix album that’s better than the original.
TRACKLISTING:
01. Animal
02. New Face, Same Lies
03. #1 Crush
04. Half-Life
05. Six Feet Under
06. Pull It
07. Dirty, Rotten, Decayed
08. Suicide Machine
09. Self-Mutilation As A Form Of Compliance
10. Parasiticide
11. Metamorphosis
LINEUP:
Nicholas Golden – absolutely fucking everything. Bastard.
LINKS:
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