Portrayal of Ruinn – Awakened Hate
Roasted by Rob Sutton
Before we go into this song can I start by saying whichever member of this band came up with the band name clearly got an F in their English GCSE. It’s spelt ‘Ruin….’ or maybe it’s on purpose and they’re trying to be edgy in which case they are clearly appealing to the teenage market. Actually this makes sense considering some of them are parents so I guess having an edgy dad is cool these days, god those kids are going to be embarrassed when their friends ask what daddy’s band is called.
Right, melodic deathcore they describe themselves as and this song certainly tries to be melodic taking influence from those shitty ballads you hear being sung at karaoke with the same couple of notes being played on repeat matched with a drum beat that is about as interesting as doing the laundry. All is not lost though as they have added a subtle hint of synths in the background! Wow! The creativity with this intro is outstanding, no other band I have ever heard has used synths before… wait.
Awakened hate then turns straight into your stereotypical deathcore, yes not melodic, just straight up deathcore. Fuck sake someone sort their Facebook page out and learn your metal subgenres! Structuring lyrics is difficult at the best of times and even harder when you’re trying to portray a story but this just seems like they have thrown a load of seasonings onto a steak in the hope that they fit. In reality they’re rushed more than a postman on Christmas Eve. There is quite a nice riff under the barrage of beats from the drums, I say drums loosely as they’re clearly programmed as the drummer couldn’t be bothered getting up to record them properly, not like I can blame him as whoever wrote the drums clearly was having a tantrum about not getting their cookie before bed time and decided to press every button at once. I really feel sorry for the guitarist here as he may have talent but it’s lost in this sea of noise and artificial bullshit that’s being churned out.
Oh Christ we have an attempt at gutturals… fucking hell my rectum is more understandable after a dirty Doner kebab the night before. The fuck is he saying, oh lyric video… yeah it’s needed. Though, they could have put anything as the lyrics as no fucker can understand him. Oops, he coughed.
‘You were the worst thing that entered my life.’ This is bullshit. Girls or guys (not judging) are certainly not worse than politicians or for that matter Tesla drivers (fuck them). This is just being over dramatic but its fine as these MySpace era, deathcore wannabe’s clearly know a thing or two about being overly dramatic. Yes boys it’s time to cut the silly emo fringes and grow up. Oops he coughed again.
Ooo another brilliant phrase ‘your hate awakened me’ nah mate its put me back to sleep. I’m pretty sure these guys listened to Carnifex and just copied, it’s not even a good copy. Here is a tip, the Chinese are the masters of the copyright law take a trip there and learn how to copy someone but actually make it bearable for people to listen to. Oops he coughed.
Why the fuck does he shout for cheese? Anyway back to this melodic metal that’s about as melodic as my voice when I stand on Lego… Oh for fuck sake he coughed! Right, my local Tesco has soothers for about 60p and they’re blackcurrant flavour, bloody love them, recommend them all day, and they taste better than the blood-soaked phlegm that your coughing up so buy some then you won’t have to keep coughing every 10 seconds and ruinning (see what I did there, now I’m edgy) this masterpiece of how not to do melodic metal.
Look if you like your run of the mill middle aged men attempting to relive their youth through ‘music’ then this is the band for you! Alternatively if you are a 14 year old wanting to rebel against mummy and daddy because they didn’t buy you a pony, buy one of their bright pink t-shirts, shout bleugh a few times and they will be so proud!
Shit I forgot to mention the bassist! Never mind.
This was written entirely for comedic purposes with the full consent of Portrayal of Ruinn. None of the things I have written represent what I actually think of this song.
Who am I kidding, I just farted and it was way more brutal than this budget Carnifex.
‘Awakened Hate’ Official Video
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Rob Sutton and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.