Warrior Soul – Out On Bail

Out On Bail Album Cover Art

Warrior Soul – Out On Bail (after being sentenced to imprisonment for crimes against music)
Livewire/ Cargo Records UK
Release Date: 04.03.22
Running Time: Too bastard long (33:36)
Review by Dark Juan
Score: Just don’t fucking bother, OK? The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System doesn’t go below -10,000,000/10. It’s been broken. Thaaaaaanks, Warrior Soul.

There are times I think that fate is out to get me. Whether it was the black Vauxhall Astra that tried T-boning me from a side-street this morning, provoking what can only be described as a sage and responsible and polite exchange of views with the “driver” of it or the fact that the august and otherwise sensible Beth “You’ll Pay For Your Crimes In Whatever Manner I See Fit, You Massive Twat” Jones assigned me this pile of foetid rat wank to review, it does sometimes feel that Dark Juan is on to a bit of a loser. However, Dark Juan is not cowed by poor fortune (and a VERY poor monetary fortune) and has risen above the horror of the past 48 hours at work (one of my young gentlemen refused to be effectively wrangled and also refused to understand just why a 1922 Chateau Yquem is an excellent accompaniment to a meat course, leading to a disagreement that lasted several hours and some mild bruising on my part. He’s from an affluent area and INSISTS on addressing me as “Blood” or “Fam”, or even more horrifically, “Famalam”. I am NO-ONE’S fucking famalam and I am not from fucking Tower bastard Hamlets. I am in fact excruciatingly white and Northern) to bring you this exquisitely crafted review of… sigh… Warrior bloody Soul.

Warrior Soul. A band that released a passable record in the early Nineties and appear to have been fooled into thinking that the difficult second album can be put off indefinitely by releasing hare-brained, turgid, “gritty” rock and roll platters on a regular basis, with vocals (I hesitate to call it singing) from a man who looks like he should live on a low-rent Florida trailer park and sounds like the Marlboro Red habit is going to cause health issues to him very soon. He also writes lyrics that are fucking stuck in hair metal heaven, chock full of bone-headed sex and meaningless, unimpressive swaggering. Kory, drugs ain’t fucking cool and when you’re a fifty-something man who performs (judging by the EPK picture I have of him) in a pair of trousers BADLY in need of repair, you frankly just make yourself look like a bit of a tit. In fact, you’re the kind of man who teenage Dark Juan used to mock and revile in Jilly’s Rockworld back in the Nineties. The old one who would be wearing tight blue Levi jeans, and the original Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow t-shirt, barely covering their expanding paunch and still trying to get off with the young ladies who were obviously and vocally repulsed by them. Drug references and howling about how rock and roll you are so fucking out of date it’s nearly as cringeworthy as being called “Famalam” by a white teenager whose home village has a fucking Rolls-Royce dealership in the middle of it. Especially when you’re old enough to be someone’s fucking grandad. Grow up, lad. 

Surprisingly, there is a passable song on “Out On Bail” (even the fucking title of the album is so banal it has made my nose bleed), ruined only by the cracked and damaged vocals of Kory Clarke and that song is ‘End Of The World’ – which rattles along quite nicely on a grungy sort of a vibe, with lyrics that eschew the normal drink / drugs / shagging / any combination of the three subject matter that dear old Kory normally employs. Clearly a moment of clarity was had and the lyrics are timely and accurate, especially around the current unpleasantness in the world. However, Kory undoes all the good work he’s done with this song by coming up with the fucking GEM of a lyric I have reproduced below:

“I’ll meet you in the lobby.
Someone’s done all the coke again,
Or maybe it was a robbery… yeah…”

Oh my good lord, Satan. I heard that lyric and physically felt my IQ drop into some kind of extra-dimensional black hole. Then I went and beat a child to get rid of the rage I felt after having my intelligence insulted so gravely. Then I called everyone “Fam” for several hours because it was that stupendously dumb and it had reduced my mental capacity to that of a white boy thinking he’s a grime rapper and from da streetz, when he actually comes from Ascot. This was from the second track in, entitled ‘One More For The Road’. Of course it is…

Disclaimer: I didn’t actually beat a child. Or anything.

Can I also point out that Kory Clarke doesn’t appear to be able to vocalise (I’m still not calling it singing) in tune? ‘Yo-Yo’ (correctly hyphenated) being a classic example of this as he caterwauls brokenly through multiple keys and basically turns the ears of the unfortunate listener to minced meat. “The New Paradigm” also shows this off to good advantage, being a particularly (and spectacularly) shit power ballad where Kory gets serious after putting down the Jack Daniels and running out of cocaine and whores. Regular readers of my bullshit will know that I have an extreme and deep-seated hatred of power ballads, viewing them as filler at best and having a rigid system of belief about them (‘18 And Life’ by Skid Row is the second best power ballad ever written, after Heart’s ‘Alone’ mainly because they don’t have the glorious voice that Ann Wilson has) and that they are a transparent and obvious attempt at a lighter waving hit chant-a-long record or the long suffering spouse of the rock star has finally had enough of the heroin binges, endless parties and all-encompassing egotism and fucked off with that nice Spanish gardener, Enrique, who works hard, isn’t a has-been waste of space in dodgy trousers, doesn’t have a drug habit and a face like it’s been hit by a poorly parked Volkswagen, and is generally kind and attentive and not a swaggering dickhead, therefore prompting a lament for their lost love. Or in the case of Tenacious D, the Metal. Thankfully, ‘The New Paradigm’ was the last song and I don’t have to listen to it anymore. Mrs Dark Juan has been vastly amused by my physical cringing as I managed to tick off even more boxes on the rock and roll cliché bingo I always play with myself when I listen to Warrior Soul. 

Mention of jail – Check.
Drug references – Check.
Surviving – Fucking Check.
Living the lifestyle of rock and roll – Oh, yes. Checkety check check.
Being on the road – Yawn. Check.
Extraneous “Baby” in the lyrics– Yes, indeed. Check-a-rama, baby.

BONUS ROUND! – “Yeah!” – Liberal checking going on right now!

Even the opening song on this record is poor as fuck. ‘We’re Alive’ starts with the tolling of a bell (for the remnants of my sanity as it was compromised severely after a mere one minute and forty-one seconds) before an ill-timed riff has absolutely fuck-all to do with the drumming until the rest of the band pull themselves together and start playing properly. The band aren’t too bad, though and they are very poorly served by their, ahem… vocalist. Because he can’t FUCKING SING!!!!!

The production on the album is also exactly as previous Warrior Soul releases. I knew just from the sound of it that Kory Clarke produced the fucking thing. His ruined, excruciating voice is massively forward in the mix to the detriment of EVERYONE ELSE and the guitars far, far too low. At least the drums and bass are audible and snappy, but I rather think that was by accident rather than by design. The blurb that came with this… product, claims that Kory Clarke is one of rock’s “Most prolific, prophetic and controversial songwriters”. He really isn’t. “Put your hands together, because we’re rocking out” is a sample of the quality of controversy on offer, unless you class lyrics that Poison would have rejected for being outdated and misogynist in 1990 as controversial, and they wrote ‘Unskinny Bop’. Neither is he a fucking prophet. He’s a fucking dinosaur. Wading through a sea of retarded sexuality, singing about drugs and booze and pretending you’re hard aren’t controversial. It makes you sound like a fucking colossal knobjockey. This kind of misguided toxic masculinity just makes me want to puke and it cheapens the music I have given my life to listening to. We have come so much further than where Warrior Soul are still.

It really upsets me that ‘End Of The World’ is on this album because it is a good song and I’d be excited if that was the basis of Warrior Soul’s sound. But it isn’t. The well-worn rock cliché show just keeps on coming back and Clarke’s vocal on ‘Yo-Yo’ is particularly unpleasant when he’s trying to hold notes on the pre-chorus. He wobbles all over the fucking place and is screamingly off-key and… and… and…

I’ve run out of words. I want to kill this record’s siblings in a curiously misplaced act of vengeance for ever having heard it. I hate it on a molecular level. I even listened to it twice, dear, valued readers, to make sure it wasn’t my prejudices talking. It wasn’t. Warrior Soul are truly, desperately shite.

The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System cannot be fucking arsed because it knew exactly what was going to happen within twenty-seven seconds of the opening song starting. It refuses to give Warrior Soul a score that doesn’t make a mockery of the Ever-Metal.com scoring system. Thank fuck there is ample booze in the house to blot out the horror via the medium of medicinal drinking.

Dark Juan and The Blood Splat Rating System do agree with Kory Clarke on one thing, you’ll be surprised to know, and that is that we all share a desire to see the destruction of the GOP. Especially with that fucking mangled apricot hellbeast Trump involved with it.

TRACKLISTING:
01. We’re Alive (For the love of God, no)
02. One More For The Road (For some reason this title keeps reminding me of Boz Scaggs’ “Lido Shuffle”)
03. Hip Hip Hurray (I left the horrible spelling intact even though it should be hooray. Yes, I am a grammar Nazi.)
04. Out On Bail (I really wish they weren’t by this point of the record)
05. Cancelled Culture (I still can’t work out whether Kory is feeling cancelled or he is lamenting culture being eradicated because of cancel culture)
06. End Of The World (I wish it would fucking hurry up, right now)
07. Yo-Yo (Wasn’t this a female rapper signed to East West Records ages ago?)
08. The New Paradigm (Ah, brings back memories of good old Warzone 2100 on the PC, back in the day)

LINE-UP:
Kory Clarke – Vocals, Drums on ‘One More For The Road’Dennis ‘El Guapo’ Post – Guitars
Christian Kimmett – Bass
Ivan Tambac – Drums on ‘The New Paradigm’, ‘End Of The World’
John Besser – Drums on ‘We’re Alive’, ‘Hip Hip Hurray’, ‘Out On Bail’, ‘Cancelled Culture’, ‘Yo-Yo’
John ‘Baby H’ Hodgson – Guitars on ‘Out On Bail’
Adam Arling – Guitars on ‘We’re Alive’, ‘The New Paradigm’
John ‘Full Throttle’ Polachek – Guitars on ‘One More For The Road’, ‘Cancelled
Culture’
Maria Hatzina – Special Guest Vocals on ‘Hip Hip Hurray’

LINKS:

Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of ‘Dark Juan’ and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.

Warrior Soul – ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Disease’

Rock _n_ Roll Disease Cover

Warrior Soul – ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Disease’
Livewire/Cargo Records UK
Release Date: 07/06/2019
Running Time: 30:35
Review by ‘Dark Juan’
0/10 (Minus 100,000,000 According to our reviewer)

Rick Here. I have two reviewers who have massively different views on the band Warrior Soul and both wanted to review their latest album, so I thought why not let them both write one. Here is the Anti Warrior Soul review!
Good evening. This is Dark Juan and I have just returned from my nightly invocations. This is why I am still in my Third Invocation Robes (Summer Weight) and looking mighty fine, if I do say so myself. Anyway, our mighty, puissant and apparently indestructible Rick has invited me to share my thoughts in a review of two halves, this time. This should be interesting…
You should be made aware that I reviewed Warrior Soul’s previous (apparently critically acclaimed, according to the blurb I was sent… Not as far as I was concerned, it wasn’t. It was a steaming pile of diseased elephant turds covered in monkey vomit) album and I did not like it very much. To reduce it to specifics, it was fucking awful and I had to purge myself for several months afterwards. With bleach and sharp knives…
Just looking at the title of this album by Warrior Soul is challenging my intelligence. What is a rock and roll disease? Rampant egotism? Alcohol and drug issues? A dose of the clap? A man so far up his own arse he can lick his own tonsils from the bottom end up? What a load of shite, mate. It’s just banging a word after rock and roll. What was wrong with rock and roll turkey? Rock and roll reasonably priced automobile? I can think of many MANY more rock and roll things than disease. Girls, guitars, friends, hellhounds… These are just a few of the words that go after rock and roll and are acceptable and aren’t fucking boneheadedly stupid. Hopefully, the title of the album will not be a reflection of the music within…
Oh, my god. Oh my good fucking god…
It sounds like it was recorded in a submarine several miles from the nearest microphone whilst it was being torpedoed by the entire US Navy. The bass guitar is far too prominent, lending the listening experience the impression of having one’s head placed in a honey filled helmet and playing the record through speakers on the outside. It’s woolly and deeply unpleasant. The drums fade in and out of the mix in an alarming fashion, apart from the snare drum which sounds like someone has made it themselves out of a bin lid, some guitar strings and their leather trousers and then there is Kory motherfucking Clarke’s godawful, cracked voice. He is fucking incapable of hitting the correct notes in the right order and he still sounds like he has flayed his own vocal cords with a cheese grater. I can’t even call it singing. He’s just doing some bizarre howling at the microphone which has no real relationship to the music behind him. He’s also pretty breathless in delivery a lot of the time. It’s especially noticeable because Kory has made sure you know Warrior Soul is his band by pushing his voice so far up in the mix that it just overpowers every other instrument being played. Which is a shame because the rest of the band are good players. And he simply doesn’t have the chops to make it stick and it’s a clear case of ego outstripping talent, once again. So far, so perpetrating all the mistakes of his last travesty of a record. I haven’t even begun on the lyrics yet… I shall allow you to read a selection of some of the lyrical gems on offer here.
Up the dose, coast to coast, I’m pedal to the metal when I’m on the road. (Probably fleeing his drug dealer.)
Like Hitler on E. Oh, what a movie! (Just what? Have you been on another heroin binge, Kory? Drugs are for losers, kids!)
I gotta feel good and feel nice so I can do to you what I please. (Misogyny 101. Unless he is not into ladies… In which case I applaud his sexuality and openness.)
You get the idea. He’s still (and bear in mind this man is now in his fifties at least) swimming in a turgid sea of drug and booze clichés, retarded sexuality and his own overweening, inflated sense of self importance. Kory Clarke offends me on a cellular level. I hate this record so much I want to drown its kittens in a curiously misplaced act of vengeance. I want to use a CD copy of it as a projectile and cut his head off with it so he will fucking well SHUT UP! The only problem being I’d be afraid of what I might catch from the resulting blood spatter.
There isn’t a single fucking song on this record I can find a redeeming quality on. It perpetrates the worst excesses of heavy rock music, when it was a joke and people used to laugh at rockers with poodle hair and spandex. This record is a fucking bad joke even for back then and nowadays is about as relevant as steam technology and middens.
Kory, JUST FUCKING GIVE UP FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! There’s nothing rebellious about singing about drugs and booze and shagging anymore. Also, the word “rock” is not a euphemism for fucking. Dammit. It makes you sound like a clown, man.
Truly, truly awful, third rate rock and roll for old men with receding hair, but still mulleted, denim waistcoats, and massive beer guts chasing young skirt in the same corner of the same bar they have frequented for 40 years and getting pissed off when said young skirt tells them to fuck right off. You know the type, the people in rock bars who think they are royalty because they were around when Iron Maiden released their debut album in 1980…
I’m going to be sick. I have had to turn it off. This record mutilates everything I hold dear about rock and metal and leaves it violated and bleeding on the floor.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System does not give a flying fuck about Warrior Soul and awards them a truly magnificent MINUS 100,000,000 out of 10. Zero just does not cut it when you listen to the horrors of this record. I am feeling dirty because of Warrior Soul.
TRACKLISTING:
01. Up The Dose (Of antibiotics because you have been sticking your cock where I wouldn’t put the ferrule of an umbrella, Kory?)
02. Rock N Roll Disease (Just shut up, you spectacular bellend. Rock and roll is life, not a disease.)
03. Off My Face (As I will be on Saturday, in order to forget this travesty.)
04. Melt Down (What I suffered about five tracks in. I need therapy.)
05. Rock On (Aye, lad. Go on. Rock on off over there. Preferably over several seas.)
06. War Ride Children (I hate titles that make no sense and this is just word salad.)
07. Going Mental (Yes, I was! And not in a good way by the time I reached this song. I have been deeply traumatised.)
08. After The Show (Kory gets back into his rock and roll koffin, hooks up the Jack Daniels, cocaine and virgin blood drips and falls into deep unconsciousness until the next show, whereupon he is woken by electric shocks and the promise of hot chicks, all of whom are wise enough to stay out of arm’s reach.)
LINE-UP:
Kory Clarke – Vocals/Drums
Adam Arling – Guitar/Bass/Vocals
John Polachek – Guitar
Dennis “El Guapo” Post – Guitar/Vocals
Christian Kimmett – Bass/Vocals
Ivan Tambac – Drums/Vocals
John Besser – Drums
LINKS:
http://www.warriorsoulofficial.com/
https://www.facebook.com/warriorsoulofficial/
 
Promo Pic
 
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.

Warrior Soul – ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Disease’

Rock _n_ Roll Disease Cover

Warrior Soul – ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Disease’
Livewire/Cargo Records UK
Release Date: 07/06/2019
Running Time: 30:35
Review by Paul Monkhouse
9/10

Rick Here. I have two reviewers who have massively different views on the band Warrior Soul and both wanted to review their latest album, so I thought why not let them both write one. Here is the Pro Warrior Soul review!
Easily hands down, Warrior Soul were one of the outstanding bands at last year’s Stone Free Festival at the O2 and put on a truly ferocious show that was high on power and total devoid of b/s or posturing. Main man Kory Clarke dominated the stage and is a total original who’s only real contemporary is Iggy Pop, his unhinged persona filled with both a true punk spirit and a social conscience that challenges as much as it entertains during their incendiary gigs. The rest of the band are certainly no slouches though and provide the perfect back for their wild leader.
Given the absolute fire and electricity of their live shows it would seem impossible to capture that in the relatively sterile atmosphere of a recording studio but with this release they have done just that and it’s an album that crackles with life, practically tearing out of the speakers and smashing you round the face whilst making you dance like an idiot. Whilst the previous album ‘Back on the Lash’ was superb, this one is another massive step and should be part of the soundtrack to every metalhead and punks Summer.
‘Up the Dose’ is a rip-roaring opener, full on boogie that brings to mind same dirty rock ‘n’ roll as the early Bon Scott years of AC/DC. Clarkes sore-throated vocals are the perfect accompaniment to the rawness of this beast and have an honesty and (say it quietly) class that many try to fake but never achieve. As well as bringing the boogie of the Young brothers to the table there is a real kinship to Motorhead here in its no nonsense delivery and commitment. This really does deserve to be played very loudly.
The title track is next up and continues the mood with a really live feel that places the listener into the confines of a dark and sweaty punk gig or, conversely, in a battered car going on a road trip absolutely anywhere in the world. This is music to make you feel alive and Warrior Soul are unafraid to refuse to bend to trends or outside influences and remain very much their own men. The aptly titled ‘Off My Face’ scorches and the guitar solo absolutely screams, whilst ‘Melt Down’ is a brutal rant against the system and a slap-in-the-face call to arms. These two tracks perfectly illustrate one of Warrior Soul’s greatest strengths with the balance of music for partying with drunk friends and a much more serious, cerebral edge to the band. Time and again it’s down to the listener to get what they want from it and that’s never a bad thing, but the hope is that it’s the lyrics that provide the strongest emotional response.
‘Rock On’ is musically much more in the mould of a goodtime track with its chant along chorus but most certainly isn’t a throw away cut and displays a real ear for melody. The same is true for ‘War Ride Children’, a song that has real elements of a NWOBHM style than has been scuffed up with a filthy sandblaster. Clarke snarls and sarcasm drips like venom as the guitars of Adam Arling, John Polachek and Dennis Post roll and boil behind him. Whilst totally eschewing any sort of ballad, there is much to enjoy in the album and it’s full of musical highs and lows that give the release textures rather than just being a one pace sprint for its duration. But, again, there is an honesty here that is unlike virtually every band you could name that’s on the circuit today and carries on baton from the much missed Lemmy.
Rounding off the album, ‘Going Mental’ and ‘After the Show’ are two more blasts of punky hard rock that bring up a delicious gumbo of AC/DC, Andrew WK and the Stooges, leaving you unsure whether you should just press play and listen to the album straight through again or go for a much needed recuperative lie down.
If you have ever loved AC/DC, Motorhead or just some truly great visceral rock music you need to get this album. If you don’t love it, you should probably check your pulse.
TRACKLISTING:
01. Up The Dose
02. Rock N Roll Disease
03. Off My Face
04. Melt Down
05. Rock On
06. War Ride Children
07. Going Mental
08. After the Show
LINE-UP:
Kory Clarke – Vocals/Drums
Adam Arling – Guitar/Bass/Vocals
John Polachek – Guitar
Dennis “El Guapo” Post – Guitar/Vocals
Christian Kimmett – Bass/Vocals
Ivan Tambac – Drums/Vocals
John Besser – Drums
LINKS:
http://www.warriorsoulofficial.com/
https://www.facebook.com/warriorsoulofficial/
 
Promo Pic
 
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Paul Monkhouse and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.