ZAHN – Adria
ZAHN – Adria
Crazysane Records
Release Date: 24/11/23
Running Time: 77:34
Review by Dark Juan
8/10
Good afternoon, friends. Dark Juan here. I apologise for my absence, and I especially apologise to Zahn for the tardiness of this review. I have no excuse apart from my fucking work and life in general getting in the way of my actually having time to listen to music. I haven’t listened to a single song in over two weeks and frankly your favourite mangler of meaningful sentences has been a bit… testy. A working week in excess of 120 hours will do that to you, as will the fact that Mrs Dark Juan has also been unwell, and you will understand that my time has been at somewhat of a premium. Couple that with a bout of having to shove the black dog back in its box as well as everything else that has been going on, and you can understand why I have not had time nor inclination to write.
Also, work Christmas parties are horribly unpleasant and noisy when you are a) neurodiverse, and b) absolutely appalled at the covers band playing the place when you know you could do significantly better, even though you are an utterly terrible guitarist, and c) had to disinfect your elegant walking cane because of what the head of Art Therapy was doing to it. Still, there were copious quantities of Old Pulteney single malt imbibed and I got a lift home, so I at least saved the taxi fare. Thank you, Amjad. Swings and roundabouts, dear friends. Also, the Schwerer Gothikpanzer got through its MOT once again at minimal expense, so there was much to be thankful for even though I have been utterly exhausted and recently wanting to change careers and stack shelves at Aldi.
Enough moaning. You are not here to read endless complaints. You are here to hear about what the estimable and formidable Platter Of Splatter ™ is spinning. Today, we are doing German post-modernist Krautrock and listening to “Adria”, the latest release from Zahn, a trio composed of Chris Breuer (Heads., ex-The Ocean Collective), Nic Stockmann (Heads.) and Felix Gebhard (Muff Potter, live–Einstürzende Neubauten). So, a collective of some extraordinary German musical auteurs, then, with serious pedigree. Is their music as Zahn decent, are they experimental wunderkinds, or is it a bunch of self-aggrandising nonsense that grates upon the few functional nerves that Dark Juan has left? We will find out together as I experience this almost 80-minute odyssey into the minds of ze Germans…
Opening gambit ‘Zebra’ begins with a twanging synth and a bit of frowning, mildly irritated bass that underpins the kind of cold Electronica and Krautrock that the grandaddies of that style of music Kraftwerk would be happy (as happy as they could be, anyway, as they always appeared to be famously miserable) to have included on the likes of “Radio-Activity”. It is a slow moving, but never ponderous piece of music that has made Dark Juan sit up and pay attention because Dark Juan is a bit of a closet fan of Kraftwerk and Krautrock in general. The drums remind your least favourite ersatz Rock hack of Neu!. ‘Zehn’ appears to be taking the same musical path, but with heavily engineered guitar rather than synthesizers, but then on the break and the middle eight Zahn show off their Noise Rock chops, heavying up the music with some tasty distortion and allowing light and shade to develop between the warmth of analogue instruments being played and the harshness of synthesizers. However, it also encompasses a Jazz section in the song. This is not a bad thing because that style of music is vibrant and frequently interesting – Dark Juan can detect a bit of Baron Crane in ‘Zehn’ as well as some Flaming Lips and a bit of Deftones in the all-encompassing wall of sound they employ in this piece of music.
The third track, ‘Schmuck’, is almost ten minutes long and runs the full gamut of musical styles from the softest, gentlest Alt-Rock, through to the most alienated, misanthropic Electronica and further on again through guitar Pop to Phil Spector-ish cranking everything up to the fucking max and letting rip massively. Backward-masked mystery combines with an almost underwater vibe from the guitars that slowly, ever so slowly builds into an explosion of distortion and tortured rage. The bass is particularly expressive on this tune. In the heavier sections it growls and roars and swipes huge, razor-sharp claws at the poor listener, yet it never overwhelms the rest of the music, merely hinting at being the muscle behind the predator. The song never stops building until it ends with a wibbly-wobbly guitar effect and a really badly earthed amplifier.
The whole record is apparently a sonic journey into the heart of European holiday culture. Dark Juan doesn’t understand this as whenever Dark Juan leaves the hallowed shores of the UK, he is normally that drunk for the duration all he can remember is all the exotic liquor he has been enthusiastically imbibing. Apart from when I went to Morocco with one of my recalcitrant young gentlemen and had to extricate him and the quad he was riding from a large ditch in the middle of the desert. That required sobriety. Anyway, ‘Apricot’ changes the mood somewhat from the previous tune by being full on Electronica in the classic vein for approximately four minutes before changing the melody into an edged weapon and dumping us into a pit of Post-Rock that owes much to Bark Psychosis and Tortoise, using the guitars to create musical textures and layered effects rather than riffs and power chords. It is an intoxicating affair indeed when Zahn unfetter themselves and let rip.
“Adria” is a tricky beast to sum up concisely and no mistake. The sheer eclecticism of the music defies categorization and the band don’t fit into any easily-described genre, but to make a brief list; Zahn utilise the alienation of Post-Punk, the art of Alt and Noise Rock, the mathematical, machine-like perfection of Krautrock, and the layered, ultra-dynamic sounds of Post-Rock and meld this with Power Electronics, Jazz and Math Metal (in the case of the 11 minutes and 37 seconds of ‘Faser’ especially, which rips the listener a whole new orifice to shit out of, seeing as it combines some guitar based savagery with Industrial-esque squelches and beeping and the kind of Post-Rock guitar and bass layering that Seefeel did so well). This stream-of-consciousness soundscaping and dronology (without the distraction of vocals) hits Dark Juan right in the base of his back and starts tickling pleasure centres (‘Tabak’ references Post-Punk with a guitar line at the start of the tune that is very reminiscent of Siouxsie and The Banshees’ ‘Happy House’) all the way up my spine. Which might be a Very Good Thing unless you don’t want to excite my interest. Ask almost any lady who has ever captured my attention.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System (Das patentierte Blutspritzer-Bewertungssystem von Dark Juan für meine deutschen Leser und Freunde) awards 8/10 to Zahn, a band who are as profound and interesting as Swans or Slint yet operate in an entirely different musical stratum where Electronica meets a wall of noise. Marks were deducted because some tracks struck Dark Juan as a touch overlong, and also because Dark Juan is of the opinion that this extreme eclecticism will not draw a huge audience. It is almost too esoteric and abstract, and you must be a truly intrepid listener to get the most from this 80-minute album. However, Dark Juan fucking loves it, in all its fractured, screaming glory.
TRACKLISTING:
01. Zebra
02. Zehn
03. Schmuck
04. Apricot
05. Fazer
06. Tabak
07. Yuccatan 3E
08. Amaranth
09. Velour
10. Kotomoto
11. Idylle
LINE-UP:
Chris Breuer – Bass
Nic Stockmann – Drums
Felix Gebhard – Guitar
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of said party. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.
