Sky Valley Mistress – Luna Mausoleum
Sky Valley Mistress – Luna Mausoleum
New Heavy Sounds
Release Date: 23/01/26
Running Time: 40:26
Review by Dark Juan
9/10
Good afternoon, dear hearts. While Oli and Jon continue to bombard the editorial staff with well-crafted, and more importantly, plentiful reviews, you find Dark Juan feverishly trying to make room in his packed schedule of working and sleeping with nothing in between to wedge some time to speak to you all about music. Today I have succeeded, and you get to enjoy the benefit of my somewhat questionable wisdom, you lucky things!
It turns out that your least favourite rock hack has an uncanny ability to upset people without meaning to. Today I have managed to upset a person on the internet merely by disagreeing with them, and also by managing to annoy most of the senior management of my work because I can’t keep my fucking gob shut when I feel that something is not right. Ho hum. Autism bites hard sometimes. I will never let my principles drop. And that goes for art in all its forms, too. The current debate around AI in music and art rages unabated, and Dark Juan is firmly of the opinion (one might even say entrenched) in his view that art has no place for AI in it and will eloquently argue the toss about this for hours. I really need to get back to drinking because the idiocy of some people just fuels my misanthropy and reinforces my convictions that the world would be a much better place if at least 80% of the wastes of oxygen I share the planet with were eliminated. Still, I have much to look forward to, not least at the Blind Pig on February 28th, when Gods Of Hellfire, Arkham Witch, Battalions, and Leatherneck are playing. This is happening at the end of the road where Crow Cottage is situated, and also because Rich Hellfire is a mate, and Al the Greenskin sings for Gods and is also a mate.
Dark Juan has dragged the increasingly underutilised Platter of Splatter ™ out of the den of iniquity it had found itself in because it has been left neglected. Upon its opium and alcohol scented altar I have placed an offering, from US duo Sky Valley Mistress, entitled “Luna Mausoleum”. This is the second album by this band and Dark Juan’s first exposure to them.
So, without any form of preconception, let us dive in and explore what Sky Valley Mistress are about!
Wow.
Total Desert Rock mastery (or mistressery. Is that even a word?) from a duo who sound like a full band on record, all acid-fuelled guitars, laid back tempos, and a captivating, smoky vocal performance from Kayley “Hell Kitten” Davies, who effortlessly adds to the already massive grooviness of the music. However, there is more to Sky Valley Mistress than mere heaviness. They are able to play on the heartstrings of the listener as effectively as they rock the fucking house. ‘White Night’ displays this splendidly with a creamy, dreamy, soulful opening with Davies crooning over a softly chiming guitar riff and bongo drums before it crashes into the heat of a midday desert, all the tang of Lone Star Beer and chain-smoked Marlboro Reds and a bar fight in Buttfuck, Nowhere.
Incidentally, Nowhere is a bar in Holmfirth, West Yorkshire. Ha.
There are other elements at play in Sky Valley Mistress’s music than mere Desert Rock. There are elements of Soul in some of the vocal harmonies as well as a leaning to the more Psychedelic at many points in their music. ‘Thundertaker’ is a perfect example of this – all fuzzy Doominess but with Davies’s clear, waspish voice sailing effortlessly over the top of some thicker-than-pitch riffing and drums designed to replicate the effects of an artillery barrage, which contrasts nicely with earlier tunes on the record that moved rather closer to the Queens Of The Stone Age and Kyuss areas of the spectrum. Album closer ‘Blue Desert II’ is a bit of a mammoth track, all insouciance and Hammond organ and heavily stoned Psychedelic introspection. It’s gentle until it isn’t. It turns into a 70s Rock masterpiece built around a fucking killer central riff.
It has to be said that Dark Juan is a massive fan of the current female-fronted Doom and Desert Rock bands out there like MWWB, Hippie Death Cult, Electric Citizen and Castle Rat (although that could just be that Dark Juan likes Riley Pinkerton. She has a SWORD! We all know that Dark Juan likes playing with weapons) at the moment. A clean female voice adds a really unique dynamic to Doom and Psychedelia and it is one that totally resonates with Dark Juan – too often, the music in underpinned with a muscular roar and there are times when it is too much. Dark Juan appreciates brutality, to be sure, but there are some styles of music that deserve more finesse. This is where Sky Valley Mistress excels – they ooze finesse and craft, which is a very difficult thing to manage when you are playing dusty, dirty Desert Rock with an admixture of ayahuasca and tequila-fuelled Psychedelics. Not a note of music on this album is wasted. It takes you on a journey inside yourself and makes you question the whole human condition and just what the point of you is.
This is not a safe psychological place for Dark Juan to be. Normally, introspection ends up with me having to bribe families and explain just where their daughters are and what I have been doing to them. This is never a positive experience. However, Sky Valley Mistress have taken me there and I recommend that, if you like your music, left-field, groovier than an LP pressing plant and with more bottom end than an army of Soviet powerlifters called Svetlana, you check them out. I dig them in a big way. Sky Valley Mistress, I mean, not an army of Soviet powerlifters called Svetlana. Although, I speak some Russian and they are bound to have amazing thighs. I could work with them. Especially with my reputation…
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System has dragged Dark Juan off for a liquid nitrogen shower as he had that look in his eye again. It awards Sky Valley Mistress a score of 9/10 for a fine album that leaves virtually nothing on the table. A mark has been deducted because, as excellent as Sky Valley Mistress are, they will only appeal to a select audience and that is a crying shame because they truly are wonderful.
TRACKLISTING:
01. An Eagle’s Epitaph
02. The Exit List
03. Too Many Ghosts
04. No Sleep
05. House of The Moon
06. Live Past Life
07. White Night
08. Thundertaker
09. Blue Desert II
LINE-UP:
Kayley “Hell Kitten” Davies
Max “Leather Messiah” Newsome
(The duo can play all the instruments between them, but live Sky Valley Mistress are an interesting concept, as Kayley handles vocals and half of a drum kit and Max handles the bass drum and electric guitar.)
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.
