Schattenmann – Dia De Muertos
Schattenmann – Dia De Muertos
AFM Records
Release Date: 30/06/23
Running Time: 33:18
Review by Dark Juan
7/10
The baleful ball of fire is still scorching the sky. I am trapped within Crow Cottage as the furnace that is the outside world is now off limits to me. I am running out of beer. It feels like I am melting. I am a creature of the night yet even the night is inhospitable at this time. I curl miserably in whatever corner of shadow and coolness I can find and cower away from the burning light that makes my flesh crisp and curl and blacken. Not even cold beer in frosty steins is chasing away the heat. Hence, I shall have to remain a modern troglodyte indoors and away from the baleful stare of the stupid big fire in the sky. I have literally been sitting stark bollock naked (form an orderly queue ladies, if you appreciate middle aged fat bastards built for comfort and not speed, otherwise fetishised as a dad bod) in front of a fan going at full belt and I am still too warm. However, Mrs Dark is fucking loving it and is outside creating more eldritch folk horrors while she slowly roasts in the yard.
Der Platte mit Spritzern™ has been fired up with a commensurate amount of pyrotechnics, outrageous eye makeup and BDSM stage outfits and we begin with the title track of the album, ‘Dia De Muertos’ (day of the dead, foreign language enthusiasts!) and immediately this Neue Deutsche Härte aficionado is reminded of ‘Te Quiero Puta!’ by heavyweights of the scene Rammstein, because of the cantina horns, but this is where the similarity ends as Schattenmann (Shadowman. Everything sounds better in German) instead hit the throttle and whack the listener around the side of their head with a catchy, bouncy Neue Deutsche Härte song that is immediately reminiscent of Megaherz and even more of OOMPH!. However, there are subtle differences in the music of Schattenmann from the first generation of Neue Deutsche Härte bands, notably on ‘Menschenhasser’, where there is a neat little Trance-like intro and guitars that are slightly less Industrial and more Trad-Metal sounding.
It is unsurprising that Schattenmann continue the great Neue Deutsche Härte traditions of massive choruses, supreme danceability and German language lyrics as they were formed in 2016, after the first blastwave of NDH had passed and they represent a second generation, where the Industrial component of NDH has been replaced in most part by Pop sensibilities (‘Meer Aus Licht’ has a fucking massive chorus of such shiny significance that Dark Juan nearly knelt at the altar of gloriousness that it represents to pay homage) and a more organic sound rather than the machinelike precision of Rammstein and Eisbrecher. Please don’t misunderstand me though, there is still shiny, polished, steel-press riffing that batters the listener into submission, and drumming that is perfect to stomp around to…
‘Dickpic’ skirts that fine line of sexual perversion that Rammstein straddles so effectively, with a breathy, seductive female voice entreating the male vocalist to send her a dick pic, fairly unsurprisingly considering the title of the song, over a medium paced, super-danceable piece of music. However, Schattenmann have done something deplorable and Dark Juan is very very upset with them because they have done a ‘Seemann’ and done a fucking Neue Deutsche Härte power ballad. All enthusiasm for the band is now extinguished because Dark Juan absolutely fucking hates power ballads, no matter how good the guitar and synth interplay is on the middle part of the song. I’m sure when this is played live there will a mass of lighter waving German cyber-goths belting out the admittedly catchy chorus, but Dark Juan is of the opinion that power ballads can be left to the likes of Extreme (Rory didn’t like their record much but for some reason pulled his punches, where Dark Juan will state that it is a pile of foetid rat wank that not even a starving person would touch for fear of catching something unspeakable from it. Gary Cherone attempting reggae. Fuck’s sake. Kill me now) because that is designed for their listener demographic (these days it’s ladies of a certain age who really should know better by now and fat old men… Hang on a minute! Fuck…) of people who remembered that “Pornograffiti” was actually a brilliant album apart from ‘More Than Words’ and ‘Hole Hearted’. Where was I going with this, again?
Oh yes, power ballads suck endless amounts of cat arse.
The highlight of this album for me is the second song, ‘Jeder ist schlect’ (yes, the lack of capitalisation is doing my grammar Nazi head in too…) which combines a fucking kicking Nu-Metal riff with a chorus of such hugeness it blocked out more of the sun than your mum’s arse, and a middle eight that absolutely fucking slams with screaming synths mirroring the guitar and rearranging your dentistry in the process.
Thankfully the last song on the album, ‘Ewigkeit’ returns us to the fun music Schattenmann were playing before they tried to emulate a bunch of washed-up Yanks, and it is a damned fine stomp-a-thon that is charming and fun.
And this is what I have taken from Schattenmann. They are fun. They have removed the oh-so-serious broodiness of the likes of Eisbrecher and faux sexual perversion of Rammstein and replaced it with a kind of, dare I say, cheerful, good-time vibe. They are the Neue Deutsche Härte equivalents of the likes of Tankard – that feel good, lets all get fucking slaughtered in a field somewhere with all our mates kind of a feeling that happens on sunny days when you aren’t a forty-something wanker whose back is not playing ball at the moment. In an effort to briefly attain the heady heights of competence – this is a masterfully produced piece of work. Heavy enough to be of interest of the dedicated Metalhead but also light and poppy enough to be fucking effective party music, “Dia De Muertos” manages to cover two usually mutually exclusive bases in very effective fashion and Dark Juan has enjoyed the fuck out of this album. However, it does make one wonder how much more there is to come from Neue Deutsche Härte, as it is based on a very specific blueprint that doesn’t allow much innovation. Schattenmann have deviated about as far from the blueprint as they can yet there is still… obvious similarities that are not inconsequential to the rest of the genre. By which I mean it still manages to sound samey. I love Neue Deutsche Härte but I now have to be in the mood to hear it. And therein lies the main problem with Schattenmann. They aren’t different enough.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System (Das patentierte Blutspritzer-Bewertungssystem von Dark Juan) is conflicted. Schattenmann have released a fucking good NDH album, but it is stuck in an early 2000s timewarp, and with the wealth of truly innovative music out there, it doesn’t do enough to stand out. 7/10 for a record that is fun yet already dated.
TRACKLISTING: (With English translations, if you are so inclined, dear reader)
01. Día de Muertos (Day of The Dead)
02. Jeder ist schlecht (Everyone Is Bad)
03. Hände hoch (Hands Up)
04. Menschenhasser (Misanthrope)
05. Dämonen (Demons)
06. Meer aus Licht (Sea of Light)
07. Haters Gonna Hate (There was going to be sarcasm here)
08. Dickpic (Dick Pic. You are most welcome)
09. In deinem Schatten (In Your Shadow)
10. Ewigkeit (Eternity)
LINE-UP:
Frank Herzig – Vocals
Jan Suk – Guitar
Luke Shook – Bass
Nils Kinzig – Drums
LINKS:
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