Death2Pigs – The Beast Is Yet To Come
Death2Pigs – The Beast Is Yet To Come
Musical Break Records
Release Date: 11/04/24
Running Time: 21:43
Review by Dark Juan
9/10
Greetings!
Dark Juan comes to you after a difficult weekend of young gentlemen-wrangling and 5684 words of very dry, very dull National Vocational Qualification work in which he has been required to lie shamelessly about how important his job is to him, and to what extent I think about it outside the work setting. I said that it was vitally important, and I do much study of my field outside work.
I really don’t. I chase skirt, drink my own body weight in alcohol, masturbate furiously, make outlandish claims about what underwear Goth girls favour and terrorise the local ne’er do wells with erudite facts about continuous parison plastic moulding. If I ever came into any money, you’d see me retire from my work faster than a Sauber Formula One car. Probably while burning the whole fucking edifice to the ground and then pissing on the ashes.
You no doubt can see that it has been a trying few weeks. However, there is always a panacea for this sort of fucking nonsense, and I am not talking about Kittie coming back with a new record and being able to gaze in wonder at the glorious Morgan Lander again as she roars with more vitriol than, well… V.I.T.R.I.O.L from Anaal Anthrakh. That panacea is Extreme music, my friends, and it is with rather more relief than usual that I drag the Platter of Splatter ™ out of its cubbyhole and sling the latest offering at the altar of my ingenuity on it from Death2Pigs, an Italian, masked Metal/Electronic/Industrial 4-piece, called “The Beast Is Yet To Come”. Let us see whether these people who live in paradise and have no business being angry as Italy is fucking gorgeous and has the most beautiful women in the world (let us never forget it has given us the incomparable Cristina Scabbia) cut the English mustard…
Oh, one moment! I was trying to remember the name of Seething Akira earlier and foolishly asked Mrs Dark Juan what they were called. Mrs Dark Juan replied with “Pigeon Nipples”. After the ten-minute coughing fit from laughing (apparently, I have had whooping cough – What the Victorian infectious diseases FUCK is wrong with the UK right now?) because Pigeon Nipples is possibly the greatest band name ever, I was consumed with the immediate desire to form the scuzziest, most terrible three-chord punk band I could just so I could introduce myself to a whole room of people as Pigeon Nipples.
Pigeon Nipples.
Pigeon Nipples.
Pigeon Nipples.
It’s just so pleasing to say, and I am still giggling. It has been several hours. Still, it’s a better name than my previous choice, which was Torn Sack. See men wince everywhere.
Yes, Death2Pigs. I haven’t forgotten. Now, it is well known that Dark Juan is a fucking right sucker for a gimmick, so four blokes playing a form of Metal that poleaxes Dark Juan every time he hears it (being Metal and Industrial fused together) while wearing identical pig masks and looking both threatening and endearing at the same time is on to a winner for sheer entertainment value already. Opening song, ‘Frankenstein’ fuses full-bore roaring from the vocalist (I am not going to demean myself by writing his name here, or ever again. See the band members below) with some super-crunchy Nu-Metal guitar and jabbering, fiendish electronics and the kind of soaring chorus that Filter do so well when they briefly stop being dour and tortured. The vocalist (oh, go on then, just once… Tiffie Toffee Tee. Now I am ashamed) also has a really pleasing clean voice that hits right in the heart. Goth girls will fucking love him. ‘The Story Of’ is a short intro piece that sets the stall for the next song, ‘Laura Palmer’ and it is more of the same sprightly, bouncy, Dayglo Industrial Metal with Dance electronics and TTT (ha!) alternately doing unspeakable things to his throat with the vocals and knicker-dissolving clean singing on the chorus.
The title track is the next offering and the band switch it up with the clean vocal being the prevalent style on a tune that has much to offer the casual Industrial Metalcore fan with its spasmodic jerking between Trap Metal electronic noise and chunky, complex riffing underpinned by a speedy, yet eminently moshable beat before a break that unexpectedly disappears into Shoegaze territory.
The fifth track, ‘Crusader’ is the most Filter-like tune on this six-track EP, melding Eastern-style music, expansive, coruscating vocals, Pop hooks and a threatening aura of electronic madness and a chorus that Dark Juan would give a testicle to have written. The break and middle eight isn’t anything like Filter though. That bit is fucking lethal, all fulminating screaming, and Fear Factory-remix chopped up vocals. It’s very good.
The album closer, ‘WOW’ ramps up the blaring electronics before breaking into an early 2000s Industrial Metal tune in the vein of Spineshank. Don’t take this as a demerit though, Death2Pigs are not a backward-looking band and embrace modernity and the possibilities for increased heaviness that electronic experimentation brings to the party. If you are a fan of the likes of Ice Nine Kills, Static-X, Seething Akira, Filter and A Dark Halo and “Digimortal” era Fear Factory, Dark Juan thinks that you good people out there might well enjoy the rampant, curiously joyful (like a mass-murderer having just brought off a colossal coup by blowing up a crowded school bus and is stood underneath a hail of children’s limbs, blood and viscera, luxuriating in the crimson rain), supremely danceable yet dangerously hard-edged stylings of four Italian guys in pig masks playing an almost Poppy Industrial Metal that has much to offer the fans of several genres of Metal. The only real downside of the EP is that the drums are not suitably forward in the mix and are frequently drowned out the madness going on up front…
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System (Il sistema brevettato di classificazione degli schizzi di sangue di Dark Juan, per le mie nuove legioni di amici italiani. Amo il vostro paese e amo le vostre donne. Posso farli lavare tutti e inviarli alla mia tenda, per favore? Tuttavia, non essendo inglesi e quindi non abituati a fare la fila, potrei aver bisogno di prendere in prestito un’unità dei Carabinieri per mantenere l’ordine fino al loro turno. Death2Pigs, mi aspetto che tu faccia in modo che ciò accada il prima possibile, per favore) awards Death2Pigs 9/10 for a record that is a massive, feel-good bunch of fun.
TRACKLISTING:
01. Frankenstein
02. The Story Of
03. Laura Palmer
04. The Beast Is Yet To Come
05. The Crusader
06. WOW
LINE-UP:
Tiffie Toffee Tee – Vocals
Daddy T – Guitars
Giugnor – Bass
Jim Skeero – Drums, backing vocals and programming.
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.
