John 3:16 – The Beast
John 3:16 – The Beast
Alrealon Recordings
Release Date: 06/06/25
Running Time: 40:13
Review by Dark Juan
Infinity/10
Yes, I know this review is late. It has been a trying time at Crow Cottage, this past month. I am trying to cut down drinking as I am getting a little portly, and I have never been a comfortably built gentleman before. You all know of my deep and abiding love of getting absolutely trolleyed, but with my new sedentary job role and having successfully passed my half-century, I can’t throw off the weight terribly easily anymore. This has come as something of a shock, as I was of the opinion that I was fucking indestructible. Turns out I’m not. What a bastard.
Also, the last remaining of the original smellhound Triumvirate of Terror, the mighty Hodgson Podgson, the Chonkmeister Emperor, King of all the Podges, has been poorly and has had to have his left eye removed. He is currently laid on the floor sulking at me because I am not distributing chimkens freely. What a bastard.
However, in other ways, life is good. It turns out that I have attained the dizzy heights of competence in my role of wrangling the wranglers of my recalcitrant young gentlemen. The problem I have now is sustaining altitude, mainly because I am wildly winging it and faking it until I make it. Nevertheless, this is not why you are here, is it? You are here to hopefully get past my usual pointless preamble and hear about the music the esteemed Platter of Splatter ™ is playing. This is not a bastard.
Today, I have the latest release from John 3:16 oscillating around my brainspace. You will no doubt recall that I am something of a fan of the man behind the name, M. Philippe Gerber, and that I consider him a true gentleman and an all-round good egg. He was kind enough to release a copy of “The Beast” to me for my listening pleasure, being his latest record, and I have only just found time to do some music work, for which I apologise to him unreservedly. Turns out being paid a lot of money means I actually have to work for it…
Here is a link to a previous John 3:16 review by me if you feel so inclined…
The first thing that strikes you about “The Beast” when you start to play it is the cinematic quality of the record. This is a much more experimental effort (emphasis on the “mental”) than the previous release, and this reflects that Phillipe has been working on film soundtracks recently. It is also almost Ambient, rather than purely Industrial, but it is not a soothing, balmy ambience. It is the musical personification of having committed horrendous deeds and living with the mental consequences of those actions. Album opener ‘The White Throne’ is an exemplar of this. Slow and drawn out, yet powerful in the face-melting electronics, a repeating guitar line and the ever-building wall of sound conspire to reduce the listener (and the protagonist of the tale the music tells) to a quivering, weak, clammy, pale soul pressed tightly into the corner of a darkened room as they deal with the fragmentation of their own psyche under the most extreme psychological pressure. ‘The False Light’ is particularly haunting, with ethereal female vocals being used as an instrument rather than merely singing words at you. This is underpinned with a buzzing, insistent electronic part that sets the teeth on edge deliberately and is a counterpoint to mournful strings and the gossamer vocals. There are stabs of percussion to break up the drone and electronic flagellation, and the whole thing makes for a deeply uncomfortable listening experience. Which means that Dark Juan fucking loves it.
Of course, John 3:16 has always had this Drone component to his music, which frequently veers from the coldly beautiful, to screaming Industrial insanity, to Mogadon-slow pieces that draw the life from you stealthily, predatory in their glacial drift slowness as they stalk you. Thankfully, Dark Juan is a massive fan of music that is challenging and sets off imagery in his head. This is amply demonstrated by ‘We’ll Sail This Darkened Tide, Where Light Fades To Nothing, Together, One Final Plunge Into The Abyss’, as it starts gently, like a tall ship slipping gently from the dock in the pale and wan moonlight, until it reaches the open sea and the music picks up in intensity and power as the ship crashes through waves and weathers storms and gales until it reaches its destination, a maelstrom that has never been charted. The ship tries to stand off but is caught in the grip of the whirlpool and is inexorably dragged within, before the song ends in a clangour of painful white noise, off beat and pulsating percussion as the timbers start to fail and splinter and the all-encompassing power of nature drags its victims, both made of sturdy oak and caulk and insignificant, fragile flesh, beneath the uncaring, vast sea…
‘The Beast Within’ is an introspective piece that, to me anyway, hints at the blackness that lurks in the soul of everyone. It’s just that sometimes it is closer to the surface of some people. We all have the capacity for murder and violence; it is just a matter of a tiny lever that causes it to explode out of us. Given the right lever, you can move a planet. Given the right lever, you can bite the throat out of another human and rejoice in the blood and flesh in your mouth and the claret dripping from your chin. You may be horrified. You may exult in it. You may be disgusted. None of that matters. You will do it if you are motivated in the right way. And that’s what ‘The Beast Within’ says to me. It tells me the story of a person driven to extremity, committing a deed that is reprehensible, and then the internal conversation of the committer of atrocity as they try to reconcile their actions to their morals. And they find themselves wanting. They aren’t as appalled as they think they should be, until eventually they learn to live with their atrocity, knowing that they did it for the “right” reasons. Then their turbulent soul quiets and they live in a state of detachment from their actions, with occasional pangs of conscience hitting them right between their guilt-filled eyes…
Once more, John 3:16 has forced me to confront my own peculiar state of mind, and it has laid me bare before it. My skin is stripped and my nerves painfully, yet thrillingly exposed for all to see, my personality flaws laid bare, and my tortured psyche opened for examination.
I would curse John 3:16 for this, but this is WHY I listen to his music. It tells epic tales, sagas of the human condition, and it forces you to confront yourself. It isn’t music. It’s fucking magic.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System has sedated Dark Juan and secured him to a bed for a few hours because he won’t be stable after this. It awards John 3:16 infinity/10 for another record that has blown Dark Juan into experiences he never wanted to re-visit.
TRACKLISTING:
01. The White Throne
02. He Held Seven Stars in His Hand, And a Sharp Two-Edged Sword Came From His Mouth. And his
03. Face Was Like The Sun in all Its Brilliance
04. Flesh and Blood
05. The False Light
06. We’ll Sail This Darkened Tide, Where Light Fades To Nothing, Together, One Final Plunge Into The
07. Abyss
08. The Beast Within
LINE-UP:
Phillipe Gerber – Everything, including a window into my own tortured mindscape, which I am not sure I gave him permission to look through. But there he stands, laughing manically as I twist my soul into ever more convoluted contortions as he watches.
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.
