Chimpgrinder – Vol 666, Oliver, Simian Space King (Remasters)
Chimpgrinder – Vol 666, Oliver, Simian Space King (Remasters)
Electric Talon Records
Release Date: 22.04.22
Running Time: Vol 666: 9:22, Oliver: 9:05, SSK: 15:47
Review by Dark Juan
10/10
Good afternoon, my fellow followers of the Left Hand Path. Have you made your obeisance’s to our Dread Lord yet? And if not, why not? I am Dark Juan, and I am here to lead you to life of debauchery and salaciousness that would make a porn director blush, via the medium of a poorly written and even more poorly punctuated record review in which I shall scribe lengthy, nonsensical sentences that don’t have ANY ACTUAL POINT to them and are simply here for my own left-field amusement because that’s the way I roll, homeboys and girls, and other people whose gender I am not going to assume at this point because I don’t do gender politics. If you’re a good person, regardless of how you identify yourself, I am going to treat you with respect and friendship and expect the same back. I will get cross if I am not reciprocated with…
Now then, Chimpgrinder. A name to conjure with if there ever was one. What does it mean? Are we discussing a bunch of horrible bastards who are shoving simians through mincers? In which case there is a special place in hell for you all in which I shall PERSONALLY put you all very slowly through a bacon slicer, feet first. It gets exciting and interesting when you get near the gentleman vegetables. The begging and screaming are music to the ears of this Hellpriest… Or is it the name of a dating / pick up website for homosexual hominids? Where big bollocked bull chimps can find their significant same sex other for sexual shenanigans? It does beg the question as to how a chimpanzee might communicate with another of his species over the interwebs. Yes, I have been imbibing. Lidl and Aldi are selling single malts for £16 a bottle and it frankly would be rude not to.
Now I have dragged myself back to reality and what I am actually listening to, I shall tell you the tale of the band Chimpgrinder. A group of gentlemen from Philadelphia, PA, in the former colonies of Her Majesty the United States of America (the Queen called by the way. She’s appalled at the way you govern your country and has indicated Her wish to return the US to British rule. You all owe us 400 years of back taxes and NO TEA PARTIES THIS TIME…) and the fact they are super scuzzy fuzzmeister generals. To quote the chaps themselves:
“The origins of the band evolved from the necessity of cheap band rental space. Having cycled through a few roommates, and tired of sharing rooms with flaky Emo and Deathcore bands, our landlord suggested a cheaper discounted space in the decommissioned animal wing of the human centrifuge building in the bowels of the Johnsville Naval Air Development Centre. Walking down the dark hallways to the practice space, large metal ring tie downs are spaced intermittently along the floor leading to the tiny 11×11 concrete room with no air conditioning or heat. A large incinerator and animal cages were our only neighbours.”
This area, and the equipment surrounding them, caused the band to come up with the concept of Chimpgrinder, being a band documenting the history and tale of an astro-chimp named Oliver, and his subsequent murders, lust for his blonde nurse, dissolution and attempts to form a cult after his escape from the facility he had been a prisoner of for twenty years. The band writes from the first-person perspective of Oliver as he tries to make some kind of sense of everything and form a useful allegory to the same feelings in humankind as we stagger our confused, often drunk, way through life.
We start our odyssey with “Vol 666”, as we are listening to these records in order of their release, so as to form a coherent narrative of the journey of Oliver and the band’s musical metamorphoses, and the first thing that strikes you is the angry, snotty, Punk attitude of the players, even though the music is Sludgy as fuck. Consulting the liner notes for the record, we discover that the band recorded the songs in single takes and this DIY aesthetic carries through into the sound of the finished work. It’s furious, claustrophobic and not unlike being hit in the face by a Massive Ordnance Penetrator, even with this expertly remixed version. I can recall the somewhat chaotic production of “Vol 666” on the initial release and this remixed version manages superbly to keep the anarchic quality of the music, but is also able to lend it depth and clarity (to a certain degree – this is Sludge, remember?) although the vocals are far too low down in the mix for my taste. Otherwise it’s fucking brilliant.
Dark Juan is more than partial to a good heavy dose of Sludge, and Chimpgrinder’s treacly, warm and sticky sound is just delicious. And they have a concept. Dark Juan fucking LOVES concept records. The other great thing about Chimpgrinder is that they do not fuck about. Each record, and each song doesn’t outstay its welcome. Short sharp shocks are the order of the day and that is fantastic because most Stoner and Sludge bands spend so long noodling and fucking about the listener can go and make a full roast dinner and the band will still be playing the opening riff of the first song while the singer scrabbles desperately around for the LSD he has misplaced. This record sounds that dirty you’re in danger of catching any number of STD’s from it. Trust me, that’s a Very Good Thing.
Next is “Oliver” and the first thing that grabs you (by the balls, natch) is how the band has evolved from the filthy Sludge-Punk-Metal of the first record to a more Doom Metal based blueprint, with the Sludge dialled down the tiniest amount. The vocals are now discernible as well, instead of disappearing behind walls of Stoner sound. The songs are more coherent and much easier to read, although the basic building blocks of huge superfuzz, mogadon-slow grooves and a bottom end so heavy it crushes matter into neutronium are all still crushingly there. There’s nothing clean about this music. It’s all used hypodermics, beer cans, half empty Chinese food containers and oil-streaked clothing. I don’t even want to speculate on the state of the band’s underwear.
The very small space that Chimpgrinder rehearsed in gives their music a massive, yet closed in and dangerous quality which couldn’t be replicated in a studio. Yet they can pick up their skirts too and break out of the drug-fuelled musical realms they inhabit and kick you straight in your big fat head, as evidenced by ‘The Blonde Lab Assistant’ and ‘She Has Visions’. It’s safe to say I am becoming a bit of a fan of Chimpgrinder, although their name is conjuring up images in my head I really don’t want to contemplate at any great length. Even a libertine has limits. ‘An Ill Advised Harem Experiment’ amply displays this, being as it is about a drug-fuelled, psychotic simian trying to form a human harem. Yuck. But as a musical concept, fucking awesome.
The last of this triumvirate of remastered recordings is “Simian Space King”. At this point in the narrative universe of Chimpgrinder, Oliver, who had been attempting to form a cult in Africa composed of hedge-fund debutantes, auto-didactic celebrities and sympathetic tribesmen, has been recaptured by the government and has been fed all kinds of psychotropic drugs and flung daily into a centrifuge to force his mind back into negative space to find a door that should open when he nears it. This is the kind of shit I wish I could write. All my stuff tends towards kink and body horror and having a bash at religion. I am VERY jealous. The aggressive nature of the music has been turned down a notch on “Simian Space King” and veers more towards Stoner grooves than the aggressive, thick Sludge of the previous two records. However, that is not to say that Chimpgrinder have wimped out on this one. It’s a more considered, open record. The instruments breathe and the musical arrangements show considerably more consideration. It is the sound of a band hitting their stride and kicking all the ass in the world on behalf of their much-maligned simian brother. The music is cleaner and less treacly and thick than on “Vol 666” and “Oliver”. The title track itself is kind of like… a Sludge ballet, if you will. Put your cans on and shut your eyes and the music conjures up images of endless lines of rainbow-lit chimps gyrating and posturing in a complicated, otherworldly dance in a fractured, jagged representation of space and NO-ONE KNOWS WHY THEY ARE DOING THIS. I would like Chimpgrinder to explain just what they are doing to my psyche, why, and how I can make it stop.
Well, that was a fucking musical journey and a half. I’m seated, quietly, in Dark Juan Terrace, wondering just what the fuck happened to me. The answer is Chimpgrinder. Chimpgrinder happened and now I don’t know what is real anymore. I’m just going to leave you with the explanation of the story of Oliver the band provided kindly while I attempt to re-join the actual continuum I should be in, as Chimpgrinder have blown me utterly out of universal sync. Wow.
“For twenty years Oliver had been kept in a small, isolated compound. Agent Jefferson was his only friend. He exposed Oliver to the blues, he shared cases of Budweiser with the Astro Chimp as they watched boxing matches and the Discovery Channel, he brought in armfuls of magazines Oliver used to make collages; Agent Jefferson was the one-time space chimp’s pipeline to the outside world. Jefferson was also the man paid by the government to keep Oliver satisfied and imprisoned. When Oliver found a photo of a certain blonde nurse in the wallet that Jefferson carelessly left out one day, 20 years of friendship, and imprisonment, came to an end. Now Oliver, with blood on his hands, must face the legacy of a past he doesn’t understand and a future that has flashbacks of Centaurus A screaming across his mind.
Oliver would get sick from the combination of psychotropic drugs and centrifugal force he was subjected to on a daily basis. His handlers would in turn use the lust he felt for his nurse to reorient him. You might sometimes think about how we swirl around a black hole like so much uneaten meatloaf heading to the garbage disposal but Oliver was continually spun into the reality of that void and then jerked up by an unnatural appeal to his instincts. The eternal stomach of the void and then the heliocentric flesh of the blonde woman.
You might remember in the last album he killed the nurse’s husband and fled to Africa to start a cult comprised of hedge fund debutantes, autodidactic celebrities and sympathetic tribesmen (if you weren’t around yeah that’s what happened). But the government caught up to him and put his mind back into negative space to find a door that should theoretically open. A narrative occurs to Oliver in disjointed fragments. Like the pieces of it suggest a direction. Can he ride the arrow back home? Home to what? What will he bring with him once he learns he’s got a full crown of doors like 13 burning black diamonds slanting upon his simian brow?”
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System awards Chimpgrinder a fully universal 10/10 for their absolutely amazing concept sludge. Which in itself is something to which The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System has never been exposed before and is now blown into realms of imagination better left unexplored.
TRACKLISTING:
Volume 666
01. Obliteration and Bliss
02. Paid
03. The Blonde Lab Assistant
04. Oxygen Thins Out
05. She Had Visions
06. An Ill Advised Harem Experiment
Oliver
01. Warm Beer, Cold Ape (Intro)
02. Turning From the Sun
03. Meetin’ My Baby
04. Just an Animal After All
05. My Crime
06. Sacred Ape
Simian Space King
01. The Arrow Ritual
02. High Ground and Looking Down
03. Waylaid Way Out
04. Simian Space King
05. Stomach of God
06. Infinity Creep
LINE-UP:
Aaron Gerwer – Vocals
Steve Mensick – Guitars
Chris Scott – Bass Guitar
Chris Turek – Drums
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of ‘Dark Juan’ and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.
