Ministry – HOPIUMFORTHEMASSES
Ministry – HOPIUMFORTHEMASSES
Nuclear Blast Records
Release Date: 01/03/24
Running Time: 41:18
Review by Dark Juan
Score: 10/10
Carrying on from an argument I had decided to engage in with some mouth-breathing neckbeard on Facebook, who was of the opinion that if you don’t spend every single penny of your hard-earned cash on underground band merch and gigs, then you’re a false fan and that you don’t support Metal, and the subsequent unprofessionalism of Dark Juan in tearing the fucking wankbadger into tiny pieces. I have decided to take a very esoteric revenge on him by reviewing one of the most famous bands out there, instead of concentrating on the underground as I normally do, being of the opinion that bands of the ilk of Metallica, QOTSA, Slayer and A7X are all doing very nicely themselves without the words of Dark Juan propping them up. Also, he was reminded that not everyone enjoys the gig experience due to neurodiversity, preferring the recorded medium or just simple disinterest. He was also reminded that there is a fucking massive cost of living crisis occurring in the UK (this clownshoe is American and therefore has no understanding of nuance, being as their soundbite culture doesn’t reward concentrating for any length of time because you need to fit 35 minutes of advertising into every hour of entertainment. Advertising is the greatest evil of modern times. Let’s enrich the few by convincing the masses to purchase things they don’t need by means they can’t afford, or by using the other great evil of the modern age, fucking CREDIT) and there are people (Dark Juan being one of them) who have to be selective about when and where they go out because they are not well off. And finally, and this was the biggest fucking reason of all, who fucking made him the arbiter of what every fucker else should do?
People like him can go and get in the fucking sea. Dark Juan is passionate about music – hence why he spends hundreds, probably thousands of hours of his time, free, gratis and for nothing, and hundreds of thousands of words supporting the music… I can’t stand arseholes. All Dark Juan asks is that people are fucking NICE…
However, there are times when there is something too good to be true happens and one of those times is right this very second for Dark Juan because I get to measure my descriptive skills against the granddaddy of Industrial Metal, Uncle Al Jourgensen on Ministry’s latest album, “HOPIUMFORTHEMASSES” which was released to Ever-Metal.com recently and it is no surprise to note that Dark Juan nearly tore off the arms of the entire editorial staff in order to snatch this album up, mainly because Dark Juan has been a fan of Uncle Al since Ministry released “Twitch” and “With Sympathy” so Dark Juan has literally grown up with Ministry. So, with that in mind, let us activate the super-shiny Platter Of Splatter™ and sling on Uncle Al’s latest work, shall we?
My first impression is that Al has regained his quality control after a couple of scrappy albums and a fucking shedload of remix records and the sound of “HOPIUMFORTHEMASSES” is clean as fuck and harks back to the arctic, shining, highly polished purity of “Psalm 69”. The riffs are sharp, razor-edged things of beauty that act as a narrative driver to the visceral bark of Jourgensen as he rails and roars and spits acid hatred against the likes of big oil, toxic misogynists, violence against women and the bunch of fucking sad sacks that are the incel subculture, moaning because they are that awful at being human beings that they can’t get laid. Poor sausages. Nah, they are a bunch of cunts. Don’t feel sorry for them. So, Dark Juan’s personal politics line up nicely here…
I’ll be honest, if you have heard any Revolting Cocks, Lard, or Ministry records at any point in the last ten years, you’re going to know what’s coming on this album. Jourgensen’s left-leaning sense of humour and absolute refusal to conform to the Industrial Metal blueprint he arguably fucking CREATED with “Psalm 69” is on clear display. ‘Cult Of Suffering’ mixes Mexican music with Hammond organ (Dark Juan fucking loves a bit of Hammy O) and R’n’B backing vocals and a particularly spasmodic guest spot from the estimable Eugene Hütz, whereas ‘Aryan Embarrasment’ is rather more murderous in intent and considerably more Metal and has the wide-eyed, spit flecked vocal admirably filled by Jello Biafra.
‘Ricky’s Hand’ somehow manages to combine the slamming, machine-like power of Industrial, the 80s historical element of Synthwave, the forward-looking retro-futurism of Futurepop and Minstry’s own Synthpop and Electronic Industrial beginnings all into a single song, and it is possibly Dark Juan’s favourite tune on the album.
Opening track ‘B.D.E’, standing for big dick energy, deals with the incel and misogynist subcultures in the usual Ministry fashion, with some absolutely slamming, utterly crushing Industrial Metal and more than the usual ration of Al’s normal anarchic sarcasm. Jourgensen is pulling no fucking punches this time.
“They’ll never get to fuck so they kill out of spite.”
“You want to justify your toxic behaviour.”
Never was a truer word spoken, and Al is not fucking caring about consequences. The song runs the gamut from Industrial to Thrash, chock full of samples from news shows and reports and other sources and it is frankly fucking magnificent. In fact, Dark Juan would go as far as to say this is the finest Ministry for fucking years – Al sounds hungry and Al sounds fucking PISSED. He’s out for blood. There’s nowhere to hide and you’re either with him or against him.
The production on this record is something special as well. Everything is pure. It’s clear as fuck and it just perfect for the aggression of the music. The sampling never overwhelms the band at work, the guitar sound is just fucking PERFECT, and it is all a very pleasing listening experience. The many and varied influences that have always been a part of Ministry’s sound are all clearly on display as well as they reference everything from their own magnificence, through Killing Joke and American Metal, Western soundtrack albums and Thrash and even Slim fucking Pickens and Dick Dale and the Del-Tones.
Ministry are fucking irreplaceable. So is Al Jourgensen. “HOPIUMFORTHEMASSES” is the sound of a band returning to greatness. It’s fucking brilliant and Dark Juan has enjoyed every single second of the sarcastic, deep-seated hatred of wrong that Al and this most irrepressible of Industrial bands that has been given to us all.
You need to buy this. It really is the best Ministry in a decade.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System is delighted that Al has pulled his finger out of his ass and released a Ministry record for the ages. Challenging, yet accessible, this shows a middle fucking finger to a lot of newer bands. Really, they should take note of Al and his hard-won wisdom and his unique music. 10/10 for an album of considerable brilliance.
TRACKLISTING:
01. B.D.E.
02. Goddamn White Trash (featuring Pepper Keenan)
03. Just Stop Oil
04. Aryan Embarrassment (featuring Jello Biafra)
05. TV Song 1/6 Edition
06. New Religion
07. It’s Not Pretty
08. Cult of Suffering (featuring Eugene Hütz (Gogol Bordello))
09. Ricky’s Hand
LINE-UP:
Al Jourgensen – Guitars, vocals
John Bechdel – Keyboards
Monte Pittman – Guitars
Cesar Soto – Guitars
Roy Mayorga – Drums
Paul D’Amour – Bass
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of said party. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.
