Verminthrone – The Cull
Verminthrone – The Cull
Self-Released
Release Date: 16/02/24
Running Time: 34:14
Review by Dark Juan
10/10
Conjuring with words is one of Dark Juan’s favourite pastimes. Even more so when he is sober. Today’s poison is surprisingly not coffee after I managed to give myself a very uncomfortable bout of caffeine-fuelled anxiety after the last review I wrote, having consumed vast amounts of the stuff and jittered around Crow Cottage for several hours not knowing what to do with myself and frankly being an outlandishly annoying fucktrumpet.
Not this time. Instead, I have some Lidl knock-off Iron Brew. Surely artificial sweeteners and loads of e-numbers and additives won’t have a deleterious effect upon what’s left of the nervous system of Dark Juan, will they? All I know is that my eyes are REALLY wide open, blinking is proving somewhat difficult and that colours are really fucking vivid right now… I have only had two pints of it so far…
Now, you’ll no doubt have noticed that the release date for Verminthrone’s “The Cull” (which is currently rotating rapidly upon the Platter of Splatter™) is for February of 2024. This is not because I am a lazy cunt who has not got round to it and has a noticeably relaxed attitude towards deadlines (as my NVQ assessor will be finding over the next few months, the poor woman) and more to do with the fact that Verminthrone are a band who do everything themselves and I only got the chance to hear their stuff recently when it was sent to Ever-Metal Towers and therefore percolated down to your good correspondent. Hence, once more, Dark Juan is championing the British underground Metal scene, as Verminthrone hail from the mighty, puissant, and doughty Buckinghamshire, in the wrong bit of the UK seeing as it is not the North. Dark Juan is from Yorkshire and therefore has a chip on his shoulder the size of a small planet about being from the North and is not afraid to tell anyone who is prepared (and let’s be honest with each other here, anyone who is not prepared either) to listen to him. Few people are…
“The Cull” is this 5-piece band of Southern softies’ debut long player and their second release after an EP released in 2022, and it has to be said that you wouldn’t fucking think so considering the assuredness of the performance of the whole band, who show a level of commitment to their music that can only be described as a bit terrifying. Wide-eyed, spittle-flecked, howling insanity is the order of the day here – however, the band is not just a bunch of Southern rage-mongers screaming into an uncaring black ether… They show a deft touch for melody and light and shade that belies the clear shrieking insanity of vocalist Dan, who barks, roars, screams, squeals and howls depending on which one of the at least forty-seven demons that possess him has control of his meat puppet body at the time. This is a Very Good Thing indeed and Dark Juan is pleased to meet a kindred spirit in this manner.
Musically, the band owe much to the likes of Entombed in their Death ‘n’ Roll days, as well as a smattering of Groove Metal as well. Other influences Dark Juan has picked up on are Eyehategod, Crowbar (the same intensity of performance is evident on this record as Kirk Windstein’s mob of beardy weirdies), a bit of Lamb Of God and even a soupcon of Satyricon. All of this is dragged kicking and screaming into the studio and has been whipped (probably physically – who knows what vile perversions Southerners do to each other? Dark Juan rarely ventures beneath Watford Gap these days despite having cousins who are Londoners. Heh, no-one is perfect) into shape by the able hands of Tom Dring at the mixing desk, and he has done something pretty fucking special, to be fair. The production is loud as fuck and every instrument is just turned up to the max and it is a whole fucking avalanche of sound crashing into the head of the poor, unsuspecting listener. The music, although groovy as fuck and extremely listenable, is also a stalking, nasty, venomous predatory beast that is at least three times the size of the poor prey it is hunting. “The Cull” sounds absolutely fucking massive, and the whole band sound like a right bunch of scary motherfuckers. Topping off the fact that Verminthrone sound like a whole thousand-bomber USAF bombing raid dropping their loads (fnarr fnarr!) on your head at the same moment, mention has to be given to frontman Dan, whose throat is currently banned under the Geneva Convention on weapons of mass destruction. The man can let loose a primal, visceral roar whose anger is measured in megatons. He looks like such a polite chap as well. I’m sure that Verminthrone are all well brought up young men and are nice to their mothers, really.
In short, Dark Juan has been blown into tiny atoms by the sheer intensity of Verminthrone’s debut long player. It is an album that proves that you don’t need speed and jaw-dropping technical ability to be heavy. I have heard Death Metal bands that can’t hold a candle to the prodigious heaviness of Verminthrone. They are like a musical event horizon that crushes everything down to neutronium. Dark Juan can’t fucking wait to see them play live as Dark Juan suspects that Verminthrone will be opening vigorous new geological faults simply by existing, let alone by playing…
To sum up this terrifying monster then… If you dig FUCKING MASSIVE RIFFS, serious grooviness, having your face melted from a clear half-mile away due to the sheer hugeness of the production, and a vocalist who clearly has poor anger management, then Verminthrone have you rather luxuriously covered. If you want to support British Metal, you need to buy this album. If you… nah, enough with the fucking about.
BUY EVERYTHING VERMINTHRONE EVER RELEASE AND TELL THEM DARK JUAN TOLD YOU TO.
Even if they are Southern jessies.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System awards Verminthrone 10/10 for a record that is able to transcend its rather less than unique influences and turn them into something monstrous, something that is truly fucking superb to experience. Dark Juan can only dream about a live bill that would have Verminthrone, Woven Man and Wolves in Winter on it – Verminthrone are fucking top-notch Groove Metal with a filthy, dirty, and yet still very fucking sexy Sludge admixture. Dark Juan is going for a cold shower.
TRACKLISTING:
01. Don’t Trust Morning People
02. It Always Snows in South America
03. Kuru
04. Birth is A Rope, Death is A Knot|
05. Pulling Teeth (Spitting Blood)
06. Youth For Euthanasia
07. Aorta
08. Feral
LINE-UP:
Dan Banshaw
Adam Connell
Alex Stephenson
Mat Duffy
Pal Losanszki
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.