Scene Queen – Hot Singles in Your Area

Scene Queen – Hot Singles in Your Area
Hopeless Records
Release Date: 28/12/2024
Running Time: 36:00
Review by Rory Bentley

It’s time for Beat Down Slut Metal, Bimbo-Core next level. So proclaims her highness Scene Queen on the gloriously obnoxious opener of her long awaited debut full length “Hot Singles in Your Area”. If you’ve been acquainted with our illustrious monarch’s collection of EPs you’ve probably already made your mind up about Hannah Collin’s Hyperpop/Rap/Metalcore project and you’ll either be on board or you really won’t. Behind the over the top beatdowns, lewd sloganeering and valley-girl vocal fry is a brilliant lampooning of male-dominated alternative culture and the seedier side of scene music, mixed in with an uplifting message of self-acceptance. Imagine Lizzo had parts you could pit to and wasn’t a massive hypocrite – there you go!

“But Rory”, you say, “I don’t care about a satirical, performative concept – I want songs!” Well here’s the thing, amigo, Hannah writes hooks and bangers for fun that are probably better than all your scene faves. ‘Whips and Chains’ is a bone-headed chronically shallow anthem that’s so coarse and dumb that it becomes clever again while getting lodged all the way into your head forever. And I mean for fucking ever. ‘MILF’ is a Country/Djent mashup that begins with a rootin tootin’ invitation for cunnilingus and goes so hard you don’t know whether to start a ho-down or a beat-down. ‘Pink Push-Up Bra’, meanwhile, is a raging Limp-Bizkit-like pit-starter that has a huge shout-along hook and threatens to pop a cap in creeps and misogynists.

Despite the pink and gaudy surface of these songs, there are worthy messages beneath these seemingly vacuous club hits. Perhaps the finest thing here is the frankly phenomenal “18+” which brutally attacks the litany of abusers that lurk in the cesspool of the Rock, Punk and Metal scene, who have taken advantage of vulnerable and often underage fans. The balance it strikes between pitch black humour, boiling rage and intelligent commentary while delivering world class Pop songwriting is astonishing. Zero punches are pulled and abusers will rightfully be shaking at the impending wave of retribution that this song soundtracks.

Less harrowing but equally valid is ‘Mutual Masturbation’,  which addresses bro-culture and the underlying sexism that women face in a male-dominated industry and genre. The main crux is pony arse small time bands talking down to someone a billion times more successful and talented than they are because they’re a woman, which I’ve seen happen many a time in my own travels gigging round the toilet circuit – this woman gets it. Hell, Scene Queen even manages to give the risible nepo-baby outfit Wargasm a guest spot and have the song turn out to be a total banger with ‘Girls Gone Wild’.

Clearly this still isn’t going to be an album for everyone, even for those that are in on the shtick who respect the concept but baulk at the crudeness of ‘Finger’ and ‘PEG’. Aside from a surprisingly tender closer in ‘Climax’, this is a gaudy, vajazzled middle finger-waving kick in the dick of an album and some moments could be accused of pastiche, however there is a pureness to the message that makes it okay to enjoy these foul-mouthed, gutter-minded songs of debauchery. I love this thing and I’ll be the first one in a pink tank top serving cunt in the twerkle pit when the Queen comes around again. All hail the Scene Queen!

‘18+’ Official Music video


01. BDSM
02. 18+
03. Whips & Chains
04. Pink Push-Up Bra
05. Mutual Masturbatio
06. Girls Gone Wild (Ft. Wargasm)
07. POV (Ft. The Ready Set)
08. Hot Singles In Your Area
09. MILF
10. Amateur
11. STUCK (Ft. 6arelyhuman)
12. Finger
13. PEG
14. Oral Fixation
15. Climax


Scene Queen and some minions


Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Rory Bentley and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.