Carmeria – Tragédie D’amour
Carmeria – Tragédie D’amour
Self – Released
Release Date: 23.08.24
Running Time: 39:10
Review by Dark Juan
10/10
Good afternoon, my dear friends. It is I, Dark Juan, and I am here to possibly piss off more musicians, because it appears that some of them are delicate little souls and run to their mummies when they are criticised, don’t they, Keys? I have done something remarkably sensible this month and taken most of it off work and have therefore mainly been involving myself in nefarious rituals I shouldn’t have been involved in and drinking my own body weight in alcohol. I have steadfastly avoided festivals because standing in a bouncy, exuberant crowd of tens of thousands of very drunk people all sweating on me and being desperate for a piss for most of it doesn’t strike Dark Juan as a very good time. I know lots of you prostrate yourself at the altar of live music and festivals and stuff, but I just don’t dig standing in a massively crowded field (possibly also a quagmire – gotta love British weather!), paying ridiculous amounts of money for piss in a glass and sleeping uncomfortably.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy an occasional gig, but festivals just don’t do it for me. Not even when I was having projectile vomiting competitions with four mates out of the driver’s side window of an 80s Trans-Am that my friend’s dad had lent us and accidentally setting fire to passing Scousers could I say that I truly enjoyed myself. Although the 3am visit to the merch tent was entertaining when trying to very drunkenly a) speak, and b) point at something effectively, neither of which was happening at that time. Still, the good people behind the counter were able to decipher my pissed-up grunting and my wildly waving arm to ascertain that I wanted t-shirts from Therapy?, Pantera and Biohazard.
As usual, none of this has any relevance to what I should be writing about. That subject is Gothic Symphonic Metallers Carmeria, who totally do not hail from where you think they might. If you look at a picture of them, your immediate response is Scandinavia, as they are all eye make-up and being all sultry and exquisitely dressed and shit. And that’s just the boys. Anyway, they ain’t Finnish. They are from Sydney, Australia. Now, as Dark Juan only knows Australia for The Berzerker, Ozzy Man Reviews, Tim-Tams and crappy soap operas, I am somewhat apprehensive as to whether a bunch of Aussies can cut the Gothic mustard as they inhabit a mainly barren, sparsely populated place with pockets of civilisation and rather more flora and fauna that can off you in painful and nasty ways than it really should possess, rather than icy tundra and freezing forests full of the corpses of Black Metal bands that got lost on photo shoots.
Now – full disclosure. The band’s photo (and I should really know better than this by now considering how many years I have been doing this) gave me all kinds of false expectations, mainly revolving around Dark Juan deciding arbitrarily that Carmeria were going to be a kind of pound shop Nightwish. Thankfully, I gave myself a fucking good talking to and therefore we confidently step forward to explore the sound of Carmeria without Dark Juan being a total twat about them.Let us activate the Platter of Splatter™ and delve into the world of Antipodian Goff…
“Tragédie D’amour” is the sophomore effort from these worthy Aussies, and it opens in a speedy and technical manner on ‘Call Forth My Sorrow’ which mixes some serious Trad Metal goodness with some sexy Gothic Metal and even a touch of Power Metal – think Alcatrazz meeting Ghost, meeting Dragonforce, meeting The Gathering, meeting Within Temptation. It’s all massive orchestration and technical ability fused with the kind of hooks that would be most effective on a Skycrane helicopter. ‘A Thousand Winter Rains’ very much operates in the full-on Gothic Metal vein, the arrangements being very Nightwish-esque (especially on the verse) but with a chorus that could have been written by any one of the Metal greats of the 80s.
‘Leading The Lyre’ is very, very Ghost – all huge chorus, lush backing vocals and a hook that could land a fucking megalodon with ease, with an incredibly effective Pop edge to it. I really think that this is a massive hit single in the making and I want to fucking hear it everywhere! Whereas the new actual single ‘Immortal’ takes a rather more nuanced approach – although the hook and chorus are again mountainous, we are looking more towards classic Scandi Gothic Metal rather like After Forever but with a bloke singing, but the backing vocals are absolutely fucking colossal and had Dark Juan covered in goosebumps and now the fucking song is lodged in my backbrain and won’t bastard well shift. Still, its better than the fucking horrible modern Pop song that has been stuck there for two days because I heard it in Tesco when I was getting ginger ale for the bottle of rum my friend Carmen got me.
‘Burning Ships’ gives bassist Emma Louise Nagy a chance at the microphone and to take centre stage, and she does a decent job of channelling her inner Cristina for a song that combines the sensuousness of Lacuna Coil with the storytelling edge of Nightwish. It borders on power ballad territory, and EVERYONE (and especially Keys) are well aware of Dark Juan’s thoughts about power ballads, but Emma Louise gives it all the beans and makes one of the weaker songs on the album her own personal triumph. And Dark Juan once again falls for the voice of an angel…
So, Dark Juan has been being more than usually ebullient about Carmeria, haven’t I? What are the demerits of this album? To be perfectly honest there aren’t that many of them – the guitar sound is slightly over-produced for my tastes and the low end is a bit fuzzy in places, but these really are minor niggles. Although the music nods to the more melodic end of Metal, there’s a pleasing bite to it and the vocals (both lead and backing) are insanely good, leaning just on the right side of deranged and adding some real feel to the music. Their genre-bending sound pleases Dark Juan mightily as does their undoubted songwriting prowess – it is not an easy thing to meld the classicism and tongue-in-cheek humour of Ghost with the heartbreaking sound of Gothic Metal and the naked emotion of Lacuna Coil.
Carmeria are fucking brilliant. I have enjoyed the fuck out of this album and have just listened to it three times back-to-back. If you like the lushest of songwriting and arrangement, the storytelling of Gothic Metal and vocals that will set your nerves a-quiver, Carmeria are your band.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System (use Australian Question Intonation going forward from this point please, you big galahs!) awards Carmeria 10/10 for an album of conspicuous magnificence, that’s sure to find an audience among the darker denizens of the Metal scene.
My apologies, but I have behaved myself for this entire fucking review and I need to let this out: Cobber, mate, shrimp, barbie, that’s not a knife, chuck it in the ute, Mick Taylor and something unpleasant about cricket and rugby. Yeah nah yeah.
There, I have done my patriotic duty as an Englishman when faced with someone from Australia. I hope to hear fucking loads more from Carmeria, who are now my favourite Australian band. They are just bombastic as fuck, and I can’t help but respond to it! In fact, they are EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT METAL!
TRACKLISTING:
01. Call Forth My Sorrow
02. A Thousand Winter Rains
03. Thorns
04. Leading the Lyre
05. Whispers of Forgiveness
06. Shadow’s Throne
07. Immortal
08. Burning Ships
09. The Hoping Heart
10. A Vision in Passing
LINE-UP:
Jordan von Grae – Vocals, Principal Lyricist & Songwriter, Producer
Jerry Zahija – Guitars
Mishka Bobrov – Keys, Additional Backing Vocals
Emma Louise Nagy – Bass, Secondary Vocals, Acoustic Guitars
Lachlan Blackwood – Drums, Producer
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.