Scorpion Tea – Scorpion Tea
Scorpion Tea – Scorpion Tea
Give/Take
Release Date: 27/10/23
Running Time: 39:02
Review by Dark Juan
9/10
Sew your eyelids shut and pray to snails, you wicked Jezebels! I am Dark Juan and I have returned to tell you about music in a fashion that is still fooling many people into thinking I actually know what I am talking about. Although recently I have diversified and wrote a review about a graphic novel which will arrive on Ever-Metal.com at some point in the near future and you can all glory at the magnificent sight of a grown man floundering desperately to describe something he has never described before.
Truly you are blessed with my high-quality works. Venerate me, peons.
Or not, because Dark Juan is of the opinion that consent is both sexy and vital. I need not remind you all that consent is important and can be removed at any time, do I? Otherwise, I shall strike you down with great vengeance and furious anger. Too many of my friends have suffered at the hands of the unscrupulous and I’m not having it anymore. If you can’t respect the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are that way inclined – Dark Juan preaches a gospel of inclusive love, and I will fight any drooling fucking mouthbreather who thinks that being a person who prefers the same sex as themselves as a romantic partner is wrong BECAUSE LOVE IS FUCKING UNIVERSAL AND DOESN’T CARE WHAT SET OF GENITALS YOU LIKE TO PLAY WITH! And neither do I. And neither should you) then stick your parts back in your pants, let the grown-ups be and grow the fuck up yourself.
The Platter Of Splatter ™ is back from the workshop and is gyrating smoothly and silkily and it is playing a record from Scorpion Tea, a band in which Edley O’Dowd is a member and represents his first musical endeavour since the death of Throbbing Gristle and Psychic TV’s Genesis P-Orridge (O’Dowd was famously a member of Psychic TV as well as the Toilet Boys). The band is formed of a bunch of friends who are all survivors of the New York Punk and Hardcore scene and take in influences from Ecuador, Colombia and Eastern Europe as well as a shared love of Punk, Gothic Rock, Deathrock and City Pop. Sounds like an enticing blend to this black-hearted soul. How does it sound to you? Shall we find out whether it’s worth your time and attention or whether it should be promptly filed in the bin together?
Step through this door, bold traveller, and we will find out together.
‘Take Solace In Suffering’ opens the record and by jiminy it has one of the fucking sexiest basslines I have ever heard. Dark Juan’s hips are gyrating, and I am giving Mrs. Dark Juan the eye… Mrs. Dark Juan just looked pityingly at me and went and hid upstairs and left me to be amorous by myself. Well done, Scorpion Tea, within 30 seconds of your opening tune you have already caused marital strife. The female population of Sowerby Bridge are becoming less safe by the second and trust me, you don’t want to be on the receiving end of a Dark Juan charm offensive. It gets… messy.
Anyway, filthy dirty Deathrock grooviness with an admixture of Psychedelia and Goth/ Post-Punk is what we are currently enjoying. Dark Juan is a Sad Old Goff ™ and Scorpion Tea have returned him to a state of grace that he last experienced in The Banshee in Manchester many many years ago, black haired, clad head to foot in black leather and lusting soulfully after the ethereal wisps of Goth girls elegantly wafting through the fug of clove cigarettes and dry ice. ‘In A Vile Suit’ has an overwrought, histrionic vocal that fits the song perfectly and reminds Dark Juan of Dead Coyote, what with the surreal sense of humour running through the lyrics. Too many Gothic bands forget that misery is only fun when you are enjoying it yourself…
‘They’re Thriving Without Us’ is pure Electronic Goth – all waves of synths and simple percussion combining in a sort of aural assault that seduces while it’s kicking the fuck out of you in spike heels and taffeta (this is not autobiographical from my youth. No, it ISN’T! How dare you doubt me!) and a deep, sonorous, and sensual vocal performance from Anthony Diaz, whereas ‘Six Souls Afloat’ is rather more upbeat, although it owes as much to the Melvins in the bass sound as it does to the experimentation of Psychic TV. Diaz’s idiosyncratic, only-just-controlled singing adds an unhinged, dangerous quality to the music, although having looked at his Instagram page, he seems to be a very cheerful gentleman. ‘Clandestine Whispers’ is a much more traditional sounding Goth song, bass-led (with yet more tremendously SEXY bass) and a baritone, spoken word performance vocally. The guitar is composed of single string melody lines, drawn out and flanged heavily until the break and the chorus, where the guitar sound is not unlike “Pandemonium”-era Killing Joke in parts. The production on this self-titled album is a masterclass in injecting feeling and fun into the music. Technically, it is a little ropey in places, but this does not matter one fucking bit as the sheer enjoyment of the music drowns out any niggling doubts you might have, and the bass sound is just so fucking sexy that Dark Juan is overloading all his sex wee tanks again…
Rather worryingly for the womenfolk of West Yorkshire and further afield, Scorpion Tea get Dark Juan in the mood for… shenanigans. The band, although unusual and dare I say unique in their slightly dialled down Deathrock with more added Goff and LSD, make Dark Juan want to dance and go courting. For this reason alone, they must be stopped, and stopped soon. No-one is safe anymore and Scorpion Tea are to blame. It appears that Deathrock, Goth and City Pop is a mixture that is intoxicating and addictive to Dark Juan and makes him even more of a menace than usual. Please send all your complaints to Scorpion Tea’s legal representatives because Dark Juan is not responsible for his actions…
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System has had to have a quiet sit down after dancing for the full duration of Scorpion Tea’s album and is quite tired now. It awards Scorpion Tea 9/10 for an almost perfect piece of Psychedelic Deathrock mastery. One to crank up whenever you want a good time!
TRACKLISTING:
01. Take Solace In Suffering
02. Exacting Father
03. In A Vile Suit
04. They’re Thriving Without Us
05. Six Souls Afloat
06. Clandestine Whispers
07. Scarlet Misquote
08. Summer In The Shade
09. Obsidian Promises
10. Panic Attack
LINE-UP:
Edley O’Dowd – Drums
Fern Puma – Bass
Anthony Diaz – Vocals
Christian Cruz – Guitar
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of said party. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.
