The Dead Wrongers

The Dead Wrongers – Ward XVI – Metamorphosis

The Dead Wrongers
Ward XVI – Metamorphosis
Guest Review by Ronald Rump (Aged 76 & ¼)

Thank you. It’s great to be here on Every Metal. Greater for you having me here. Great for freedom loving patriots everywhere. Never a better time to be a patriot. Never. 

And this web site – it’s small, but it’s beautiful. It’s a beautiful thing, out of England, just outside London, place called Wales. You know I bought a lot of that? It’s true. Full of great people, not like these crazy leftist Democrats. None of them in Wales, London – and that’s a beautiful thing. Not any no-go areas full of whales… I met the Queen in London you know? Great lady, very royal – no grabbing the pussy there. That didn’t happen at all. That’s fake news… Like that Kerrang! That’s a failure. No real Metal, just Fake News. Very dumb. And corrupt… riddled with Antifa…

But today I have to talk to you. 

It’s real important, that I talk to you. You know that. You know me, I talk straight. That’s the deal. I make great deals. But I’m here to talk to you about a band. They’re a great band, even though they’re not American. Hey, I know. I know. Can’t all be great. You know I made America great again? Those antifa guys though. Those traitors. They say it isn’t great over here in the USA anymore. Phony fake news.

But hey, so these guys at Very Metal. They’re great guys – even the girls. So, these Never Metal guys, they asked me to write a little thing for you, and it’s a beautiful thing, and it’s about these guys called Ward Ex-Vee-Eye. That’s sixteen in Welsh, apparently. You know Welsh? They speak it in London. It’s true. But that’s not great marketing. You know, they should just call it “sixteen”, you know. Makes it easier for the patriots. They’re great people the patriots. They buy my hats. They come to my rallies. They pay my legal bills. 

But these guys from the Ward, they’ve done a truly great thing. They’ve gotten themselves into the studio and made themselves a CD. Another one, it’s true. They did another one, because the first one was great too, and it totally sold out. And they must have read my book and gotten a great deal to do that. A really great deal. 

Not like the Democrats. That’s a bad deal. It’s going badly for Sleepy Joe now. Sleepy Joe doesn’t listen to Ward Sixteen, oh no. Too many chainsaws for Joe. That’s what’s great about Ward Sixteen. They use a lot of chainsaws. The best chainsaws come from Texas. And steaks. These guys look like they eat steaks. Lots of big American steaks. Psychoberrie – she’s their singer, obviously eats lots of steak. 

This CD – it’s her story, and its great. It’s like my story. Because I started small too, but made it big. Not like these Democrats. No Democrats in Ward Sixteen. Too many chainsaws. And they burn witches too. That’s great. Russia won’t get any money from that. Burning witches is definitely cheaper than oil. None of these climate hoaxers will like that either. Burning witches is a great American tradition… Good song too. Catchy. I listen to it when I’m playing golf, and it makes me feel great, because it’s all about traditional American values. 

So this album, is all about Psychoberrie and her mother. Family values here. Important honest American stuff. She even brings her Mom along to all the shows. You should too. 

And you know, Psychoberrie? She should run for office, because she’s been through witch-hunts too. They tried to put her away for burning witches and chainsawing Democrats – can you believe that? It’s the truth. You don’t hear about that on the Fake News media either. 

So, this CD, it’s all about success. Because I know all about succeeding. It’s about starting small and making it bigly. If you can’t go big, go home. But these guys go big. Even though they’re only little, but they play in the big league. And they’re shows – they’re big. They’re so big I’m thinking of getting them to open up one of my rallies. 

So these guys. Go buy their CD. But their American chainsaws. Have a steak at their shows. But don’t buy their baseball caps. Buy mine. Mine are red. And they pay for my bills..

LINKS:

Leave a Reply