Synaxaria – Rzeczpospolita
Synaxaria – Rzeczpospolita
Self-Released
Release Date: 15/09/23
Running Time: 47:16
Review by Dark Juan
9/10
It is well known that Dark Juan has opinions that are rather negative about certain Eastern European ex-Soviet superpowers and their invasions of neighbouring countries. I propose, despite the fact that Vladimir Putin is a tiny dictator with an even tinier penis and all the wit, grace and charm of a colossal, chilli-fuelled shit on the floor of your lounge, that we put politics to one side because the Metal family is just that, a family that transcends borders and politics and everything that wankers in suits consider important. Music is the thing that holds this family of leather and denim-clad protectors of the one true faith together and it is together that we will conquer the world in time.
When the tattooed and pierced alternative people take over the world it will be a better place.
We at Ever-Metal.com also champion free speech and freedom of expression, no matter how irate (and positively libellous) Dark Juan gets at power ballads or misogynists or misandrists or Russian Presidents busily engaged in lying to their population and trying to grab lands which aren’t theirs. This is why Dark Juan, and the rest of the EM crew will always try to bring you works from places where the world of Metal might be frowned upon by dickheads in suits with secret police forces at their command. I’m looking at you, Alexander Lukashenko… So, it’s with great pleasure Dark Juan brings you a review of a band from Minsk, in Belarus, because it means that both the band and Dark Juan are showing a glorious, unmistakeable, and unrestrained middle finger to the man, and surely that is a major part of the DNA of Metal…
Synaxaria are the name of the band in question, and they started life as a Neue Deutsche Härte band. Auslanddeutschers, then, at that point. But they have evolved their sound over the years and the Industrial component of their music now only forms a small part of the sound of Synaxaria. On this release, “Rzeczpospolita” (which probably means “Republic” but Dark Juan doesn’t speak Belarusian) the band, composed of core members Dzmitry and Natallia Kramoushchanka, have developed from an NDH band into something that defies description… Imagine, if you would, dear friends, the Gothic romance and emotive quality and symphonic grandeur of Nightwish, Within Temptation and Sirenia, and crash that sound at high speed into the harshness and the martial quality of Neue Deutsche Härte. Stitch that unholy creation together and then set it running in the direction of Folk Metal. Then go and have several drinks. Rather a lot of drinks. You will need them.
Gothic Romantic Symphonic Industrial Eastern European Folk Metal. Holy fuck, what a combination. Sung in a combination of English and Belarusian too with both male and female singers. This is almost too bizarre to be true…
Let us cheer on Comrade Platter Of Splatter ™ as it plays this madness.
However, it is true and Dark Juan is experiencing it right now. And Dark Juan is actually really enjoying just how disturbingly hatstand it all is. The music is played with a disturbingly wide-eyed staring quality which mirrors accurately the look on Dark Juan’s face when he is writing. Synaxaria play worryingly committed music which is fuelled by a surfeit of repressed passion and probably quite a lot of rage that is as powerful as it is absolutely fucking bonkers. The album, and each individual song reference historical facts and traditional folk tales from Belarus, although the band are going to have to explain who “Scott Ferguson The Brave” (with his bagpipes) is because Dark Juan has no fucking idea.
The production on this album is extraordinary. It is rich and full and lush and warm, yet retains clarity even when there is a full-on demented wall of Industrial Belarusian Folk Metal crashing into your ears (which happens quite a lot) and no one thing overwhelms or overpowers anything else, although if I am nitpicking, the drums sit quite low in the mix apart from the snare drum which punches through in a pin sharp fashion.
Opening introduction ‘On Niasvizh Yard’ suffuses the listener with the sounds of church bells, horses, marching men and the voice of Dzmitry speaking in a guttural fashion in Belarusian over some swoopy, emotive keyboards to create a bombastic musical poem that would not be out of place on a Laibach album, complete with outré sense of humour. ‘Panie Kochanku’ begins with marching drums and keyboards that replicate traditional instruments before the guitars crash in and the Folk Metal element comes screeching to the fore. Imagine Turisas and Eisbrecher engaged in an oily, sweaty, bare-chested wrestling match. If you are a lady of a sensitive disposition, I suggest you seat yourself before you have an attack of the vapours at the thought of such alluring machismo. It makes for a remarkably fine tune complete with a breakdown to wreck your neck to in the middle of the song and Dzmitry displays the richness and variety of his vocals as he switches from baritone clean, to normal range clean, to fucking filthy dirty growling to a fine Hard Rock voice. In one fucking song. One song. ONE SONG!
‘Curse Of The Tatar Cemetery’ dials down the Folk madness apart from the intro, and instead gives the now thoroughly befuddled listener an almost straight ahead Neue Deutsche Härte track on the verse, until Natallia adds her waspish, sweet vocal to the mix and suddenly the songs transforms into a Gothic Symphonic Metal anthem and also during the solos and the middle eight… Dark Juan can’t keep up with the amalgamation of styles and the efficiency with which the band switch between styles and indeed the facility with which the band have managed to fuse pretty disparate styles into a frankly fucking orgasmic, bombastic whole that somehow just works – this is Frankenmetal of the highest calibre!
I need to summarise this bunch of quite clearly batshit insane Belarusian people. I’m not sure it is possible to do so. Dark Juan will attempt to anyway, because after all its his fucking job, isn’t it?
If you want out and out aggression and power, look elsewhere. However, if you want aggression and power mixed with a keen sense of humour, frankly jaw-dropping arrangements, megalitres of melody, super talented vocalists, and bombast and a pomposity than can only be measured in epochs because they are that fucking massive and all-encompassing, then I rather feel that Synaxaria are the band for you. Romantic, Gothic, bombastic, overblown to just short of parody and absolutely kick-ass Metal, Synaxaria are utterly unique and one of Dark Juan’s new favourite bands!
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System (Запатэнтаваная сістэма ацэнкі пырскаў крыві Цёмнага Хуана для маіх новых беларускіх сяброў. Я спадзяюся, што калі-небудзь я змагу наведаць вашу цудоўную краіну і сустрэць вас усіх як сяброў, братоў і сясцёр у хэві-метале!) is quite blown away by what it has just heard and after a small lie down in a darkened room awards Synaxaria 9/10 for a record for the ages that shouldn’t have worked, but fucking did!
TRACKLISTING:
I. On Niasvizh Yard (Intro)
II. Panie Kochanku
III. Curse Of The Tatar Cemetery
IV. The Swedish Hill
V. Tavern Near Mir
VI. Scott Ferguson The Brave
VII. Pan Potocki
VIII. The Underground Bell
IX. Captured Land (featuring Lesley Knife)
LINE-UP:
Dzmitry – Vocals, guitars, bass
Natallia – Vocals, keyboards
Illya – Guitars
Alyaxey – Drums
LINKS:
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