World Dream Conspiracy – Sexy Jazz Night
World Dream Conspiracy – Sexy Jazz Night
The Circle Music / Logical Absurd
Release Date: 26/03/24
Running Time: 37:27
Review by Dark Juan
Score: 9/10
Hail and welcome to Crow Cottage, the modern-day house of plague, where both Mrs Dark Juan and I lurk, hacking like we both have TB, and where Dark Juan has exhausted himself getting his computer out of the cupboard and to a position where it can be used. I have the strength of a week-old kitten and am about as useless as a chocolate teapot at the moment. A perfect opportunity, then, to instead rave and rant (except I don’t have the energy) and spout endless nonsense about music.
But first I have to tell you about the events of yesterday. Mrs Dark Juan and I had just been to pick up a new fridge freezer (exciting times in Crow Cottage. Seriously, the fridge is massive, and it has an A energy rating. This is very exciting stuff when you are essentially confined to barracks) in Wakefield, and I stopped off in Halifax on the way home to pick up some glue for my aeromodelling hobby/ obsession. Granted, I also came out with a model of a TS-11 Iskra but that is irrelevant. Mrs Dark Juan then wished to visit Greggs (a high street bakery chain in the UK, non-UK readers!) to acquire some vegan sausage rolls. This is all fairly mundane stuff, I hear you all cry, but it had transpired that Mrs Dark Juan had begun the day by forwarding the address to collect the fridge to world famous horror writer Ramsey Campbell instead of me (Dark Juan is well known for his tall tales, but this isn’t even a lie. Mrs Dark Juan, being an artist, has a number of friends in literary and art circles) and then compounded this by, after buying the sausage rolls, attempting to get into the wrong big black car (we have a VW Passat estate that I call the Schwerer Gothikpanzer) and therefore caused consternation and terror to the three Asian ladies and the Asian gentleman who were in the car. After Dark Juan had finished laughing (this took quite some time) and got Mrs Dark Juan into the right vehicle so she stopped terrorizing people who were innocently going about their daily business, we were heading home when it was discovered that the newest Smellhound, Mossy Boggart Rowan Bryan Grimshaw Cravensworth IV has taught himself to operate the electric windows on the Schwerer Gothikpanzer. As Dark Juan appreciates repeated testing and scientific rigour, I kept shutting the window. The little quadruped bastard emotional dictator kept opening it again so he could have shnoofles. I should also inform you that Mrs Dark Juan does not like motorways and describes them as “Shitty big people roads.”
This is a normal day in the world of Dark Juan. This is why I am unhinged.
It is also why I probably should not have chosen to call the Platter of Splatter™ into action today and chosen possibly the most out to lunch record I have in my review queue, this being the debut album by World Dream Conspiracy, entitled “Sexy Jazz Night”. Now, this band was formed in 2023 in small-town Colorado (in the USA, for people not familiar with world geography) from a group of friends who were temporarily residents at a psychiatric clinic, all battling drug addiction and clinical depression post-Covid, and Dark Juan has to be honest and tell you all that their spasmodic, mutant, cancerous music resonates within him at some kind of subconscious level that unlocks all the latent murder and cankered, bloody hatred in his soul.
This isn’t to say that what World Dream Conspiracy performs is recognizable as music. It is a frequent traveller into realms and dreamscapes that have nothing to do with pleasure. It is cold-blooded mutants shedding skin with glistening scales beneath (like the British Royal Family to be honest. Dark Juan is a republican with a small r, not like the rabid mob of Trumpists worshipping their rotund apricot hellbeast, and Dark Juan will never be a subject, especially to a bunch of Germans), it is constant growth of unusual new limbs and organs, triumph and abject defeat at the same time, it is jerky, uncontrolled movements – a kind of St Vitus’ Dance but with PURPOSE, death and rebirth together and an explosion of joy within incredibly dark times.
In short it defies categorization and, at times, barely approximates music. Vocals can be screamed, or whispered seductively in foreign languages, or take the form of beatnik beat poetry, or hide coquettishly behind fractured drumbeats that have no real rhythm. World Dream Conspiracy don’t deal with conventional arrangements for their music. They are the creators of expansive, yet somehow claustrophobic sonic palettes, collages of sound that are specifically designed to operate in the subconscious and disturb it. It is liminal space and confusion – what is that noise? Where is everybody? What was I going to do? What does it smell like blood through that door? Why do the fluorescent lights sound like that? It is a deeply unsettling album to listen to – the sounds of burning, and of buzzing flies, and heavily flanged and phasered screaming are in direct counterpoint to beautiful little melodic motifs that last fleeting seconds before you plunge back into a nightmarish world of disorganized sound and thought as sanity deserts you once again for a neverspace of disjointed unconscious dreaming and the endless whirring, gear-like buzz of thoughts spinning round your head, ever faster and ever less coherent, until the sound of a softly whispering French girl penetrates the internal noise, the ASMR of her voice and the click of sputum in her mouth as she speaks an oasis of calm among the screaming and the machine noise…
No sound is safe from being transformed into an object of terror for World Dream Conspiracy – church bells, birds chirping – everything is cut and transformed into something horrendous and unpleasant to behold. Sounds are chopped into individual bits of data and fed through many machines and twisted until something appalling is produced. It is sonic terrorism of the form that was pioneered by the likes of Throbbing Gristle, and more latterly, Psychic TV. ‘Clapton’s Cocaine’ is particularly disturbing as gentle, echoing sounds are shockingly destroyed by a brash, dissonant single motif of six notes that repeats itself over a boring British man lamenting the state of contemporary Western music…
The usual caveats apply here – this music is not even loosely connected to Metal, but it is extreme as fuck and pretty much as unique as it can get right now – the only people who come close for the same level of horrific aural experimentation and jackhammer musical assault are Stoke-On Trent’s Omnibadger/ Omnibael for Dark Juan at this time… Pound Land too, but they are more Punk, whereas World Dream Conspiracy operate more from a point of view of howling madness undergoing a drawn-out cure and neuro-linguistic re-programming through cognitive behaviour therapy – moments of calm reflection speared by the screaming demons of madness trying to fight their way back to the forefront of your consciousness, to take control of your body and turn you into a self-destructive meat marionette in their thrall once again.
So, yeah, if you dig Throbbing Gristle and Coil and Nurse With Wound mixed with Aphex Twin at his most demented and kinky, jerky, chopped up sounds, and having music make you feel like you are in some kind of survival horror situation involving outlandish human mutations and supernatural terrors erupting out of walls and morphing out of things that were previously innocuous and harmless like taps and kettles and things that couldn’t kill you and had no consciousness, but are now deeply demonic and utterly homicidal, yet is somehow sexy as fuck and you are terrified but insanely horny, then you will probably adore World Dream Conspiracy. If you like Metal and nothing but Metal, don’t bother unless you are feeling particularly brave.
It feels like someone has taken razor blades to my nervous system…
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System awards World Dream Conspiracy 9/10 for a deeply unsettling, frequently macabre listening experience that is frightening, uncomfortable and operates in a dream world that is anything but dreamy.
TRACKLISTING:
01. Hypnozys
02. The Jazz Parade
03. Clapton’s Cocaine
04. M.P.
05. That Strange Feeling Of Not Knowing You At All
06. The Glue
07. Like A Virgin
08. Medicines
LINE-UP:
David Moore – Electronics, synths, effects, concept, vocals
Linda P – Electronics, violin, bass, loop, vocals
Josef Nosel – Programming, synths, effects, drums
LINKS:
The band does not appear to have any online presence, which is probably for the best, to be honest, as they are all completely hatstand as far as their music tells me. Therefore, I have put the links to where you can buy their music, so you can fund their next rounds of therapy…
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.
