Cast In Tephra – Decent To The Monolith Part 1 and 2 (I really don’t care, it all sounds the same)
Roasted by Rob Sutton
Cast In Tephra – 0191 Slamdown from Durham, which is hardly a place known for good music… And that is immediately apparent from these 1 or 2 songs they have sent to me. Firstly there is no start and finish between the two, kind of like a lass who doesn’t know when to end an argument. Speaking of not knowing where they stand, they aren’t heavy enough to be Slam, instead they venture into the Blackened realm. I like Black Metal… but not this. This skid mark of overly produced liquid shit just ends up blending genres that don’t work together. Top that with breakdowns with an attempt at pig squealing and vocals that sound like an elephant seal trying to mate, Jesus fuck I think I’m having a mental breakdown listening to it. There is even a reverse snare sound in there. Da fuck is that about?! It doesn’t make this heavy or cool but instead sound like someone has dropped a metal barrel off some scaffolding.
Right anyway maybe the guitars will cheer me up.
Nope! Again the riffs seem to go from generic Black Metal tremolo picking to a breakdown. Why all the breakdowns? Did they get stuck on what to put next so thought ‘I know what preteens like – breakdowns! Yes another.’ Bet the drums aren’t recorded live either, nahhh these are definitely done by the ultimate drummer… a Mac book pro. So these songs start with the phrase ‘Awaken me’. If this was my alarm clock, it would have been launched out of the window. Vocally there is a cracking range on this guy, lows, highs, crap pig squeals, inaudible noises. Fuck me I hate Slam. It’s not even the kind of Slam you want to hammer to, it’s the type of Slam you find in the 50p bin at HMV.
So these guys somehow won their Metal 2 The Masses. My only guess is that the other Durham bands were even more dogshit that these guys. Poor Bloodstock, they really did have a difficult choice to make – which band will offend our festival goers the least. Never the less they have somehow made an album ‘Realm Of Blissful Ignorance’. Straight away I wish I was ignorant enough to have not bothered plaguing my spotify with this.
I have fully descended into complete depression listening to Cast in Tephra, so if you’re bored of being happy all the time and want to experience depression, this is your band!
Shit bassist again… Actually I don’t think there is one.
This roast was done with full consent of Cast in Tephra and doesn’t represent my actual thoughts of the band… who am I kidding Durham Dung Metal!
‘Descent To The Monolith, Pt 1 and 2’ Official Audios
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