Omnibadger – Famous Guitar Licks Vol III
Omnibadger – Famous Guitar Licks Vol III
Cruel Nature Records
Release Date: 26/05/23
Running Time: 37:20
Review by Dark Juan
10/10
Greetings, dear friends. I am Dark Juan and I am currently hiding indoors trying desperately to preserve my pale and interesting looks. In the UK currently it is hotter than a dragon’s arse after you have been feeding it Scotch Bonnet chillies and Dark Juan is not built for this sort of temperature. Dark Juan is designed to hide in shadows and strike at his prey from shadowy corners. Ask most of my victims and they will say the same. I have resorted to cold Spanish lager and the most shadowed recess of Crow Cottage in order to bathe in the radiation of a computer screen and write about some music. Although music is a loose term when you are talking about Stoke-On-Trent based Industrial noise terrorists Omnibadger. These gentlemen appear to think that music is something to be utterly destroyed and made into something else. Or at least that is the impression I got from their previous releases (way back when they were Omnibael) and their recent collaboration with Newcastle noisenik brb>voicecoil. However, they are back with their second album proper, named, with considerable sarcasm of which Dark Juan wholeheartedly approves, “Famous Guitar Licks Vol III”.
If you have read my previous rantings about Omnibadger/ Omnibael you will no doubt be aware that Dark Juan is a bit of a fan and therefore was somewhat delighted when Cruel Nature Records requested that I cast my critical ear over this release. Therefore, I have coaxed the steam-powered, oil-covered Platter of Splatter™ into life and bunged on “Famous Guitar Licks Vol III” to see what it’s all about. Will Omnibadger turn Dark Juan’s brains to custard like the last couple of times or have they turned into a pair of crop top-clad, skirt-wearing jessies contemplating their own navels and whining about their unaligned chakras? Let us find out below…
Dark Juan was expecting more of the extreme sonic destruction that was so ably demonstrated on the first two records. However, Omnibadger seems to have elected to take a different path this time – ‘Lick One’ begins the proceedings by building a sense of menace that involves choppy soundscapes that add and take away all manner of extraordinary sounds including Afrobeat. All in all, you can hear the pervasive influence of Cabaret Voltaire’s back catalogue in this opening cut. Dark Juan was somewhat taken aback as he had prepared himself for an all-out barrage of sound of frankly perverse proportions. Instead, I got Omnibadger practising subtlety. I was not expecting subtlety.
‘Speeding Ground (Part I)’ is the second track on the album and is 13 minutes of a sonic journey that leads you from the more experimental ends of Kraftwerk (traffic cones, anyone?) through to the big-bottomed noise rock of the likes of the Butthole Surfers. It is a sprawling Industrial complex of a song, machine-like, motoric percussion driving increasing levels of noise and violence to ever-higher extremes. Jase Kester and Phil Malpass really are quite disturbed individuals who require urgent professional psychological intervention, judging by their musical output. Needless to say, Dark Juan would love to share a beer or twelve with them and terrify teen Goths with Omnibadger’s completely overpowered sound played through a very loud PA and blast them all straight out of their Hello Kitty knickers and smear them all over the wall. I don’t know why I have the idea that Goth girls wear Hello Kitty knickers. This probably indicates that I need therapy too.
‘But What I Want Is Not Important Right Now’ is an amalgam of early Ministry and NIN when Trent was at his most drug-addled and young Al hadn’t yet discovered Metal, yet displaying a queerly British flavour about it, as the boys seemly cut things up and reform them simply for the lulz throughout the song. Dark Juan is all about the lulz.
‘Surfin’’ is utterly fucking bizarre, though. Crushing Industrial rhythms and grinding electric guitar meets a bit of Surf Rock. Yes. You heard that right. You won’t be hanging ten or catching your first tube while you are listening to it though, dudes, dudettes and otherdudes. You’ll have to listen carefully though. Think Skinny Puppy, Treponem Pal and Atrocious Filth kicking the fuck out of Dick Dale and the Del-Tones with sledgehammers and hobnailed work boots. ‘F I X’ is different again. Deeply uncomfortable synths and samples overlay a man with a voice like a jar full of rusty nails howling and screaming over percussion that sounds like it is slowly ticking away the remaining seconds of your life in direct contrast to ‘You Never Tell Me What You Think’ which has more than a nod to Al Jourgensen and the Revolting Cocks with some of the most cataclysmic bass I have ever heard until the last thirty seconds of the song, which then makes it sound like a bunch of Russian Spetsnaz have broken explosively into the studio until there is only a sequenced snare drum left.
The record closes with ‘Equations For A Falling Body’, and this is where Omnibadger are at their most Omnibadgerish, being a miscellany of musical madness – punishing beats, screaming, screeching Industrial noise, utterly demented howling and a roaring level of insanity combine to take the head off the poor listener. It is an experience not unlike the destruction wrought by particularly active plate tectonics. Until you are 6 minutes into the “song”, where it appears that Aphex Twin snuck in with the Spetsnaz and hijacked the recording. However, he was discovered quickly and blood-eagled by Omnibadger, who, face-painted and dancing round the strung-up Drum N Bass king, keep flicking their edged daggers at him and are bleeding him slowly by a death of a thousand cuts with added roaring. Lots of added roaring.
So, yeah. If you are a fan of having your face fried by out and out noise terrorism and you think that SPK and Whitehouse are a little too commercial and lightweight, Dark Juan recommends Omnibadger and their complete musical insanity wholeheartedly to you. If you like music that sounds like an entire armoured regiment on the march over rocky terrain, you need to hear this record. It is far too challenging for a casual listener, though. It is best experienced by someone who has some knowledge of Industrial music in order to gain the best idea of what Omnibadger are trying to achieve.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System™ has listened to “Famous Guitar Licks Vol III” three times back-to-back and now has a nasty, angry headache and an incipient desire to feed people into industrial mincers and it is all the fault of two lads from Stoke. Bastards. 10/10 for a modern Industrial classic.
TRACKLISTING:
01. Lick One
02. Speeding Ground (Part I)
03. But What I Want Is Not Important Right Now
04. Surfin’
05. F I X
06. You Never Tell Me What You Think
07. Equations For A Falling Body
LINE-UP:
Phil Malpass – Electronics, guitars, vocals
Jase Kester – Electronics, percussion, vocals
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.
