Shatterface – Anodize EP
Shatterface – Anodize EP
Self-Released
Release Date: 22/11/23
Running Time: 17:04
Review by Dark Juan
7/10
Hi, it’s Dark Juan here. I am still labouring under some kind of malady that won’t be bloody shifted and to say that I am feeling a trifle nihilistic is something of an understatement. I want to murder the entire UK Government and Opposition in increasingly bloody and unpredictable ways as well as any fucker who even crosses my path and looks at me in what I deem an unacceptable fashion. Or I would unless the slightest form of movement reduced me to a gasping, coughing, sweaty and weak mess. Yes, Dark Juan is a Very Bad Patient. Mrs Dark Juan has threatened to put me through a bacon slicer, arse first, on a number of occasions and Dark Juan takes this threat seriously as I have seen her Amazon search history, and she has indeed been looking at flensing and boning knives among other items. Obviously, the result of her nefarious deeds (Dark Juan being brown bread and reduced to a number of easily digestible cubes via the means of expensive kitchen equipment) could be easily disposed of by merely feeding it to the Smellhounds, who, to be frank, will eat fucking anything put in front of them, organic or otherwise. I always wanted to go out on a burning longboat, as befits my warrior status. Instead, I will be dogshit. It is peculiarly apt, in its own way.
Dark Juan’s days are clearly numbered. Don’t pray for me. Hold a colossal, drug-fuelled orgy for me instead. With lots of goth girls. And goth boys for that matter. Thank you. I’ll let you know when it is about time for me to go and have a word with Satan. I’ll bite the red fucker’s nipples off and kick his balls so hard he will have three Adam’s apples if he even thinks about trying to make my life hell. I expect to consolidate my rule of Hell in about three weeks of my arrival. I’m something of a tactical and strategic genius, you see.
So, nihilism needs something suitably brutal to be its soundtrack, therefore the Platter Of Splatter ™ has been called into operation once more, and this time it is spinning the debut EP from Shatterface, a Digital Death Metal trio from the Antipodes, more specifically Sydney in Australia. Do they have the requisite chops to impress Dark Juan and bestir him from his planning to take over the Underworld, or are they merely going to increase his ire by being a bag of shite that Dark Juan can’t wait to trash horribly? Are we going to have jokes about them being the descendants of British convicts? Are we going to say that their cricket team is rubbish, and that Aussie rules football is just a bastardised version of rugby and American football and that the players of said sport wear shorts that are far too tight? Are we going to mention hats with corks dangling from them and Neighbours and the eldritch horror that is Jason Donovan? Is Australia a place where the flora and fauna are basically out to off the human race at every opportunity? Is there ANY reason for huntsman spiders? Is Dark Juan laying on the sarcasm rather too thickly as one of his teenage friends was an Australian lad who was a good egg in every way? Should Dark Juan be censored by the editing team, yet again, for stereotyping an entire country?
Let us explore these possibilities together.
The record opens with ‘Bitter Days’ which is more than an accurate description of Dark Juan’s current struggle against ill health, and it immediately kicks the listener in the guts with hobnailed boots and keeps on stomping until the listener resembles a chunky salsa. To describe themselves as Digital Death Metal is… unusual, as the only nods towards the digital are sequenced drums and some keyboard work. Dark Juan was expecting the kind of full-on Synthetic Metal pioneered by MASTER BOOT RECORD but has now re-evaluated his expectations. The song opens with guitar and drums before opening up into a kind of Metalcore sounding hybrid of electronic drums and downtuned riffs. The vocals then come in and they too are an amalgam of Nu-Metal posturing, Death Metal howling and something that sounds like Nivek Ogre having been spliced to Jonathan Davis in his less mental moments. Surprisingly, the diction on the more extreme vocals is remarkably clear and the lyrics are understandable. Which makes a change for anything to do with Death Metal, where it normally just sounds like the vocalist is puking up his own liver and lights in time to music. However, Shatterface get more interesting when they aren’t being primal savages and dial down the rage and settle into some electronic based grooves, when they start to sound like an even more unhinged Skinny Puppy. As if anything could be more unhinged than Skinny Puppy.
‘Devoid Of Life’ is rather more Death Metal than the opening track, although there is a particularly exciting bit of overlaid keyboards and guitar several times throughout the song. I have to admit that the bass sound on this song particularly is sexy as fuck and got Dark Juan’s hips swinging merrily before a coughing fit made Dark Juan sit his fat arse back down again in short order. Shatterface must be punished for this. Bastards.
The third track on this four-song EP is entitled ‘Eternal Nothing’ and is a speedy romp through the more electronic side of Shatterface’s canon, although there is a metal as fuck guitar solo that got Dark Juan throwing the horns from his sofa. Mrs Dark Juan just shook her head at me pityingly. Anyway, the song builds from an electronic spine and speeds up and gets heavier and heavier with layered guitars and a tempo which is ideal for double time marching into a recently invaded country.
The EP closes with ‘Sand And Blood’ which seems to fuse the martial fury of Neue Deutsche Härte, the machine-like precision of Industrial and the sturm-und-drang of Death Metal with the sensuous sounds of Ambient Electronics and more than a little bit of Vaporwave. You’d think that these influences would sound like a disjointed mess, yet Shatterface turn them into a fairly homogeneous and pleasing whole.
The only things I can be negative about is the fact that the drums are too artificial sounding when placed with analogue instruments like guitars and bass, and they are too far forward in the mix for my taste. Beyond that, this is a remarkable debut EP and one that shows considerable promise. Dark Juan feels that if Shatterface sharpen up the production and get a decent album under their belts, then Australia might have a band to truly champion on their hands. Dark Juan approves of this melding of Death Metal and Electronic music. It’s a raw recording but it is one from a band at the very beginning of their journey, and it should be judged as such.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System can’t help but be intrigued by Shatterface, and therefore awards them 7/10 for a very good debut that just needs the rough edges knocking off.
TRACKLISTING:
01. Bitter Days
02. Devoid Of Life
03. Eternal Nothing
04. Sand And Blood
LINE-UP:
Robert King – Vocals
Tim Goss – Guitars
James Walker – Bass
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.