Stuka – Electronic Body Metal
Stuka – Electronic Body Metal
Inverse Records
Release Date: 21/02/25
Running Time: 46:03
Review by Dark Juan
8/10
Hello again, dear hearts. Dark Juan here and I have been listening to more music. This does unfortunately mean that you’ll have to read about what I have been listening to.
I would apologise, but it would be deeply insincere. So I won’t.
I have been listening to a lot of very very SERIOUS music lately and it has turned me almost into a normal person instead of the wanton libertine I usually am, so this time I have changed tack and am listening to something from the review list that I chose entirely because it sounded hilarious and frankly, I need a bit of cheering up. I am going for a promotion at work, you see, and to say that I am bricking it about the interview and the thirty minute presentation I have to give to the three-person review panel is an understatement. Dark Juan is not good at public speaking, or indeed being an actual person, at the best of times and adding this pressure on myself is not doing the old grey matter, or my ability to be quipsome and amusing any good whatsoever. However, I like having lots of money too much to not try to get more of it and leave the wrangling of recalcitrant children behind me to instead wrangle the adults who do the wrangling. Then I shall become a senior senior wrangler!
It’s probably not a good idea to put me in charge of people. I’m the kind of person who would lead a charge into a nest of machine gunners clad only in underwear and waving an utterly useless cavalry sabre about and then wonder why I have been shot to ribbons.
Anyhow, the Platter of Splatter™ has once more been called into action, and the subjects of today’s dubious scrutiny are Stuka, being a band who (checks notes) combines Ancient Chants, Dungeon Synth, Industrial Heavy Metal and Futuristic Techno… and lots of yeahs! All of this is filled out with lyrics that are inspired by the grimdark of the far future of the 41st Millennium, where there is no peace, there is only war.
Yes, Stuka are inspired by the xenophobia, religious fundamentalism and violence of the universe of Warhammer 40k, where there are acts of breathtaking heroism in the service of the aforementioned horribleness.
Their music, however, has as much to do with Gothminster and Deathstars as it has to do with Blutengel or Skinny Puppy with little admixtures of the likes of the Electric Hellfire Club in the more Industrial moments (‘Sunset of the Corrupted’ reminded Dark Juan of “Burn Baby Burn” by TEHC, at least in the first few moments), but it tends more to the electronic side of the Industrial spectrum with Dungeon Synth as the primary influence at times. Although ‘Death Comes Nuclear’ is a glorious full on Techno anthem.
Suffice it to say that “Electronic Body Metal” is silliness personified and very fucking funny indeed. I mean just look at the first song title – ‘Chainsword Dismemberment’. That two-word phrase has fucking everything I want in music right there. I mean, chainswords are a fucking brilliant idea anyway.
Still, the vocals, although a little on the rustic side of production, and the lyrics are perfectly comprehensible, but I am unsure whether I should be laughing at Stuka, or whether they are deadly serious. Granted, if they are being serious then it makes them even more hilarious. However, if you dig the music of Nitzer Ebb, Priest, Front 242, Die Krupps, NIN, Manowar, Bolt Thrower, Mortiis and 16-bit computer game music you will find much to enjoy, after you have finished giggling. However, Bolt Thrower is a minor musical influence, although they too are a band who also embraced the universe of 40k. The music on this album is Electronic with only a smattering of guitar. I am not sure how many Metal fans are going to dig it, I’ll be honest. Anyone who likes a bit of morbid silliness with a kind of Punky vocal edge and stabby keyboards will enjoy it though – ‘Surrounded by Emptiness’ has a kind of proto-Suicide vibe at times what with its sparse instrumentation and harsh, not always in tune vocals.
I also have no idea where this bunch of mad fuckers are from, and that is probably for the best. The band is composed of FOUR vocalists and one bloke who presses all the buttons. Luna Wolf is a traitor to the glory of the Imperium already though, we know that for a fact from the Horus Heresy . CHAOS SCUM!!! 01101001 01111010 01100001 really does belong with the rest of the binary numbers who form the (allegedly) Canadian Fractal Generator and the whole thing is frankly a mind-melting, utterly demented joy. The title track of “Electronic Body Metal” however, is a fucking mighty slab of Industrial Metal goodness, all ceramite boots crunching over the skulls of slaughtered Tyranid hordes as companies of Primaris Marines march in lockstep towards the Ork WAAAGH! that has just landed on the edge of Ultima Segmentum. It’s thrillingly martial and mightily pleasing and by far the highlight of the album as far as the more Metallic minded among us go.
If you are, like me, rather more intrepid a listener than most, then you might well enjoy this album for the deeply unique delights Stuka offer. A lot of you are going to absolutely fucking hate it. I can say that with some certainty, because its tinkly-bonk madness is altogether batshit and disturbingly cheerful in places. ‘Ten Million Missiles’ is particularly amusing as the vocalists all spend time telling you that they have “The will of the Emperor” in separate parts.
What a fucking joy this album is. What a weird, comical, fucked up delight.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System is poised, storm bolters cocked and ready to fire on the hated Greenskins and the enemies of the glorious Empire of Man, praying to the Machine spirits of its weapons and powerpacks while Adeptus Machanicus and Techmarines fuss around the joints of my Terminator armour, and awards Stuka 8/10 for an album which is just going to be far too challenging for a large audience, but one that Dark Juan found gloriously funny and curiously charming along the way.
TRACKLISTING:
01. Chainsword Dismemberment
02. Death is Certain
03. Violence
04. Red Planet Marches to War
05. Sunset of the Corrupted
06. Galaxy in Flames
07. Death Comes Nuclear
08. Surrounded by Emptiness
09. Electronic Body Metal
10. Ten Million Missiles
11. Eternal Fate
LINE-UP:
Blackworm – Instrumentation and programming
01101001 01111010 01100001 – Vocals
Herra V – Vocals
Yannis Tsatsiki – Vocals
Luna Wolf – Vocals
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.