The Machinist – Cathedrals Fall (Single)
The Machinist – Cathedrals Fall (Single)
Self-Released
Release Date: 01/09/23
Running Time: 7:15
Review by Dark Juan
10/10
Here at Ever-Metal.com Towers, we don’t normally do single reviews, preferring to give our attention to albums and EPs, but we do make exceptions when the band is particularly special or one of our writing team is a champion of a certain band. Yes, Dark Juan indulges in nepotism. I do it for bands that I feel are worthy, or resonate with me particularly, or whose members are just such bloody good eggs that Dark Juan decides he will do his best to get attention for them. Not just in the UK, either. Dark Juan will champion what he considers genius from anywhere in the world.
Quinn The Brain, They Watch Us From The Moon and Splintered Throne (to be fair ST’s Lisa Mann is friends with pretty much everyone at Team EM) are just a few of the bands and their personnel that Dark Juan thinks are special. There is one particular UK band however, that Dark Juan is fucking insanely into and would move mountains for, and that band is The Machinist. Not since The Berzerker had Dark Juan heard such darkness and such egregious power and musical chops.
However, Ever-Metal.com mum Beth “Fe Godwn Ni Eto” Morait has told Dark Juan in the strongest terms that there will be no more single reviews and it doesn’t matter how winsomely Dark Juan begs her, and it is indeed winsome. Therefore, The Machinist need to be doing lots and lots of sucking up to Beth, whom, Dark Juan is convinced, gets some serious kicks out of having an entire scene at her mercy.
I know I do.
This Manchester bunch of beardy weirdies, bikers and miscreants released an absolute monster of an album in “I Am Void” (https://www.ever-metal.com/2020/12/21/the-machinist-i-am-void/ is the link you should click if you feel like laughing at an old man being so childishly enthusiastic it is painful to behold) back in 2020 which left this reviewer wondering how the in ever-living fuck they were going to top it (‘Skin Is Never Enough’ and ‘Schwarszchild Radius’ still being on the list of absolute bangers that Dark Juan has secreted among his possessions). Now, spinning at frankly insane velocities upon the worryingly overloaded Platter Of Splatter™ is The Machinist’s new single.
Ladies, gentlemen and gentlepersons of all other genders and identifications, I present to you ‘Cathedrals Fall’.
I am still trying to locate my face.
I can’t really offer you any more superlatives than that, really.
‘Cathedrals Fall’ is an extraordinary meisterwerk that welds Progressive elements, the intelligence of Math Metal, primal Black Metal, the most inhuman Industrial sounds and the sheer velocity and ferocity of Death Metal together with nightmarish fluidity and purpose. ‘Cathedrals Fall’ takes up the baton from the already inhumanly complex ‘Schwarszchild Radius’ and increases the speed, intelligence quotient and horrific violence to something almost psychotically posthuman. There are several different movements in the song that cover the gamut from Trad Metal twin guitar attack to some particularly insane vocal performances from Scott W and John T. Yet, even among vocals that are capable of cleanly eviscerating you from several yards away, there are moments of beauty and clean singing, and The Machinist are quite capable of offering the by now thoroughly bludgeoned listener moments of light and shade, power and pathos. EVERYTHING about this song is perfect and is tickling Dark Juan’s pleasure centres more than an entire harem of full-breasted houries, clad only in lingerie or bondage gear and… we will not continue with that. It would not go well. For you, I mean.
If this song shows what the basis of The Machinist’s next album is going to be, then Dark Juan is likely to have died of dehydration through compulsive sex wee expulsion and there is going to be a major ecological disaster and it will all be The Machinist’s fault.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System is furiously commissioning new sex wee storage tanks and pipework for such because it appears The Machinist have released one of the most incredible singles Dark Juan has ever heard in Extreme music. As there is not yet a number big enough to satisfy the score for this song, it is offered 10/10.
LINE-UP:
John Thompson – Synths, Drum Programming, Vocals
Tobias Grey – Guitar
Scott Walton – Vocals
George Kal – Guitar
Luke Chapman – Bass
LINKS:
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.